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Episode 48: You Made It Weird
Chelsea Peretti #2

You Made It Weird #48: Chelsea Peretti #2

Chelsea Peretti, Pete’s “worst best friend,” comes BACK to make it weird a second time, this time playing clips of the many times Pete has mentioned her on the show before and giving her a chance to retort. This is 99% new stuff, weirdos, just with some clips to give us jumping off points. Please enjoy, especially as Chelsea gives a detailed description of how she would kill Pete (they’re close friends, we swear!)

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  1. DylanNagy says:

    Chelsea im sure you have gorgeous feet! Il Give them toes a lick I don’t give a fuck. 😉 Pete will you prey that god will send me a girl like Chelsea someday? thanks

  2. Mel says:

    I will do yoga with you

  3. Brandon says:

    Haha this one is so good. And the impressions are good, including the Nick Kroll.

  4. Nate says:

    Aw, this hurt to listen to. You could hear Pete’s breaking heart as he was practically watching the pane of glass being placed between him and Chelsea in his studio setup. That sucks, man. You can deny it all you want, but I’ve been there, where you can’t say anything else about it for professionalism sake but inside you’re wrecked.

  5. Susan B. Anthony says:

    You guys, the lead singer of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs is Karen O. Please know this.

  6. James says:

    1:37:12 laser accuracy. Hilarious, especially Pete’s reaction.

  7. Josh says:

    Ha! Not bad, @Roman! I’ll take the advise on my first comment on this thread. I actually think you’re right. I’m sorry if it was off-putting! In the meantime, let’s keep having fun with our posts. There’s a difference between weird and insulting.

    Two flaccid rabbi penis’ were walking down a beach. One says to the other, “Phew! Sure is hot out here isn’t it?” The other says, “AAAUUUGH! A TALKING FLACCID RABBI PENIS!”

    Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom!

  8. Roman says:

    I don’t know if i ever get the opportunity to tell religious figures that they are acting pompous. Kinda like it. weird?

    I think my issue is that you came across as preaching rather than discussing. I find that approach quite divisive, and it may have been why you got so much pushback on your comment.

    For now on any insults going your way will include rabbi in front of it, and I hope you know that it will be for our amusement, and not personal.

    I hope you have fun with your flaccid rabbi penis! zing!

  9. Josh says:

    lol And how much weirder does @Billy feel, btw, given his earlier comment! You got off easy, @Roman. @Billy now knows he made a joke about some rabbi’s penis.

  10. Josh says:

    After all, if you’re going to call me a pompous ass, you have to at least do it right. You have to say it like this: “Rabbi, you’re a pompous ass.”

    That’s right. You called a rabbi a pompous ass. Kinda makes you feel weird, doesn’t it? Oh man, welcome to the show.

  11. Josh says:

    @Roman — Totally appreciate you comments buddy but I’m sorry I disagree. I don’t mean to look like a pompous ass, I frankly just wanted to preempt the tone from the comment board on the prior episode. Some of that shit went way too far. Why should we let trolls take the fun out of this? And not for nothing, but part of the reason I AM so successful at my job is that I challenge people to at least be nice to each other.

    Not to mention the fact that, given my line of work, it is kinda funny that you’re “@Roman”.

  12. Roman says:

    @Josh: do us all a favor and get over yourself. Its the internet people are going to be dumb, and you aren’t going to be able to stop everyone from posting garbage.

    You’ll do much better in life if you just ignore the arses and focus on the good. If you feel compelled to respond to a comment, do it. But dont write the whole message board like you are the moral authority of the internet. You just look like a pompous ass.

    BTW Pete, Loved the show, could listen to a 4 hour clip show of this.

  13. Julia Hays says:

    This episode was EXTRA crispy!

  14. Liz says:

    @Chris this comment is not intended to dump on you in any way.

    I think you feel hurt/have your feelings hurt. Some of what comedians say (imo) is a response to having their feelings hurt by fans, followers or audiences. So part of their aggression (or making fun of the comedy fan) comes from the same thing you are feeling, again just in my opinion.

  15. Amanda says:

    Pete. I was literally cringing when the clips were being played. I feel the secondhand embarrassment and weirdness. Loved it. Like the other listeners, I laughed out loud multiple times. You’re the best.

    PS: I love how you yell “FUCK YOU” because you yell it so emphatically and crispily. 😀

  16. Chris says:

    Don’t really comment on websites but felt I had to say something. One, I love the podcast, it’s funny as hell and Chelsea is great, saw her in Vancouver during the comedy fest and she was one of the funniest comedians I saw. Just had to respond about the “civilians” comment, I know it’s a joke but I feel there has been this trend in the last few years where it’s totally ok to shit all over the comedy fan and I don’t understand it. The people who are supporting you guys through live shows, twitter, podcasts, buying your albums, etc are smart comedy fans, we realize the difference between Pete Holmes and Dane Cook and that should be appreciated. We may not be comedians ourselves but we understand what is funny and what isn’t. Getting upset with an “how dare they” attitude over comments on jokes that don’t hit the mark. So what? Are we to believe everything that flows out of the mind of the comedian is pure brilliance? Even the 18 year old comedian had something to say about it on a previous episode . Really? So now a few years of amateur stand up is tantamount to stardom and no one can have an opinion on it? At the end of the day, it’s just jokes, nothing to get grandiose about. Some are funny, some aren’t, who gives a fuck? I’m sure soon enough the next generation of comedians will make fun of podcasts and how people actually used twitter as a vehicle for joke telling.

    I love stand up, I really do but let’s be honest, it is just pure ego masturbation. A comedian expects a crowd to stay focused and give them the respect to do their thing, and we do, but just as quickly we are shit on as fans they couldn’t give a fuck about as soon as they step off the stage? It’s even mentioned in this podcast. Anyways, not sure why I felt compelled to write this. I’m not on twitter or FB so I’m not defending the hordes of idiots that I’m sure fill inboxes with nothing but pure garbage but I am a comedy fan who wants to feel somewhat validated in giving my energy to someone who makes me laugh and I think that’s reasonable. Anyways, I’m sure I’ll be ripped to shreds now by everyone who reads this but this is honestly how I feel. Let the hate fly!

  17. Biz says:

    Black Listener Here

  18. Kass says:

    “We ALL know, Pete! We ALL know!” Pete berating Past-Pete

    I laughed a lot. Rowdy, rowdy laughter. We got to see why you guys are besties and Chelsea seemed more comfortable/super hilarious this time around. Thanks!

  19. first says:

    Awesome episode! I literally laughed out loud several times (especially whenever Chelsea would say I feel sorry for that guest having to listen to you go on about me. so adorable.)

  20. bastien says:

    Black-and-white Pete from the waist up wearing dark sunglasses and a big smile, arms crossed over the chest of his white and red striped, popped-collar polo shirt, standing at a 3/4 angle, the words I LOVE “L.A.” in drop-shadowed, tangram-esque day-glo font (think L.A. Looks logo), sitting angled above his right shoulder, on a banana yellow tee.

    And THAT’S the Laser Accuracy t-shirt.

  21. Mark says:

    #extracrispy holy shit HOLY SHIT

  22. johnnyscof says:

    Just so you know, it is the best.

  23. judy says:

    Little disappointed that Dustin left out the clip where Pete had to wait outside of a part for half an hour while Chelsea was at a Golden Globes party.. That would have been so awesomely awkward to hear Chelsea’s reaction to that.

  24. TJ says:

    Most episodes: “You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes and Chelsea Peretti in Absentia”. Have her on the podcast in person as often as possible.

    Listened to this episode via headphones while “working” from a coffee shop, so I was already grinning and laughing silently, and looking like a lunatic. Also, I happened to have the Wikipedia entry for Benito Mussolini up on my computer (because I like to learn), when I caught two girls a few tables away obviously making fun of me. They were nice enough to look embarrassed when I busted them, and the three of us had a moment. Ha-ha-ha-ini.

  25. Tyler says:

    Not gonna lie, for a second I felt bad for Pete when she did the “#extracrispy” part. I’m glad they’re such close friends, because from anyone else that probably would have felt like pure ether to his soul.

    Loved this episode.

  26. Elsa says:

    Oh MAN! Wonderful episode! But I can’t believe you didn’t play the clip of Pete talking about his rage over waiting for Chelsea to walk out of a party to drive somewhere together (From the Greg Fitzsimmons episode?). During *this* whole episode I was equally anticipating/dreading that ULTIMATE WEIRD moment! Was that just way too “you made it awkward?”

    Thanks for putting this together!

  27. Josh says:

    lol Just listened to the ep… ah forget it. Fire away haters!

    @Liam you’re funny, dude. One of the good ones!

    Great ep Pete! Freakin’ hysterical. That’s it from me. 13 effing comments, and I’m already three of them. Jesus.

  28. rhzunam says:

    You misspelled “Pete’s worst best friend”. it’s spelled “Pete’s giant unrequited crush”.

  29. chris says:

    @ANDY YES. Agreed.

  30. Liam says:

    Haha, poor Josh tried to preempt the haters and made himself a hate target instead. HE TOOK THE BULLET

    I’m looking forward to listening to this episode later tonight! Whenever I think of Chelsea Peretti I always picture her stuck behind that door by Louis CK

  31. Josh says:

    now THAT’S what I’m talking about, @Billy! Great comment! Original, hysterical, salty. I like it. That’s MY flaccid noodle of a penis you’re making fun of, and I laughed hysterically.

    Take a quick look at the Adam Corolla comment thread and you’ll see why I wrote what I wrote. It’s like, at some point, you have to stop reading these posts. But it could be so much more fun if we were more creative, you know? The guys over at the Nerdist Podcast were just talking about this in the “Gersberms” ep. “We just have to stop reading those comment threads” they basically said. That would be a shame if great podcasters like the Nerdist three or Petey Holmes over here just stopped reading these. Some of these posts are hilarious — a la @Billy!

    Hey @Billy! Go outside, break a bottle, and scratch yourself. We can use my limp-noodle penis as a tourniquet.

    Homo-erotic first aid… weird…

  32. ANDY says:


  33. Billy says:

    I have the image Josh typing that comment by rolling his flaccid noodle of a penis on his iPad like a play dough snake.

    Big Josh! Josh to the stars!

  34. Rachel says:

    Okay, Chelsea’s bit about dumping dirt into your open mouth and packing it down with the flat side of a shovel? I had to rewind it because I was laughing so hard that I couldn’t breathe. Thank you so much for this treasure.

  35. Blaine St. Troubadour says:

    @Josh, don’t be so precious about the podcast/comments. Pete’s an grown man who performs stand up, I think he can handle some criticism.

  36. Bill says:

    Chelsea is a delight. Great ep!

  37. Tyson says:

    @Josh why the huge spiel? The only other comment on here is ‘yes yes yes yes’

  38. Josh says:

    Dear YMIW Commenter,

    Welcome to You Made it Weird, where Pete Holmes likes to get weird with his guests. He likes to talk with his guests about things that make people uncomfortable — personal histories, hobbies, and idiosyncrasies, politics, faith, religion, comedy, and in general whatever comes up. Once I even thought he was going to start making out with a guest right in the middle of the podcast. That was a really weird ep.

    Yes, his laugh is very loud. Yes, he interrupts his interviewees a lot. He tells a lot of the same stories, makes a lot of the same points, and likes to talk about himself. Many of us “weirdos” find these aspects of his style hilarious, including me. But mostly Pete just tries to create a normal sounding conversation and have a great time in the process.

    I know what you’re thinking: “Must … write … something … hateful! Must … make … someone … feel … bad … about … themselves! Can’t … stop … hating! One … small … insult for man … One … giant zinger … for humanity.”

    If you want to be a cliche (just another anonymous hater online), go right ahead. I’m sure it’ll make for an interesting comment thread. But I think you can do better, don’t you? This is, where you can be smart and original. Try it. Seriously, it’s fun.


  39. roger says:

    yes yes yes yes!