It might seem like everyone in the world is excited about The Force Awakens, but apparently that’s not even true of the world’s largest population. On The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, the host (and huge Star Wars fan) explained that due to a Western media ban that was in effect in 1977 when the original film was released, there is very little excitement in China for the new film.

So, in case you have any friends that aren’t big fans themselves, here’s Colbert’s one-minute explanation for the over 1.3 billion Chinese citizens that might need some help in catching up, and getting amped, before they head out to see Episode VII.

In addition to saying Obi-Wan was an elderly shut-in who convinces a farm boy to fight a handicapped man who needs a full-body respirator to survive, and calling Han Solo a criminal (accurate) and Chewbacca his “screaming dog friend” (also accurate), Colbert explains the nature of Yoda (a muppet in a backpack) and the finale which contains teddy bears and ghosts. Also, yeah! Why was C-3PO programmed to be scared all the time? Isn’t that something young Anakin could have fixed, apparently?

Pretty good. That should just about sum it up. Oh, yeah, right, there are three other movies too. Well he did mention those too.

“They also made three prequels, but honestly those don’t make any sense at all.”

That’s fair.

Is there anything you would have tried to squeeze into a one-minute Star Wars summary? Tell us what you would have tried to “Force” in there.

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HT: slashfilm.com
Image: CBS/YouTube