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Stephen Colbert’s Nerdy Defense of the “Trisaber” is the Best Yet

Stephen Colbert isn’t afraid to let his nerd flag fly. And on a recent episode of the Report, he proves it by making the best defense of The Force Awakens‘ new lightsaber design we’ve heard yet:

By now audiences are aware that Colbert knows his stuff when it comes fanchises like The Lord of the Rings, but Colbert revealed that he is also a consummate Star Wars nerd, based on the fact that he has two-weeks worth of geekery on just about everyone else on the planet. He lends his fandom to a pretty great defense of the trisaber design that so many articles — including our own — have critiqued.


Colbert’s defense hinges on the fact that the trisaber is composed of a single beam, perhaps split and focused by crystals or prisms. If it was a single beam, then cutting through the metallic part of the crossguards doesn’t mean instant Skywalkerification.

Of course, even if these plasma hand protectors work as intended, there is still the problem of accidentally snagging some skin on them as you jump around like a cartwheeling Yoda.

HT io9

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  1. Anri Sorel says:

    This explanation erroneously assumes that a lightsaber is laser-based. The blades of a lightsaber are in fact constrained plasma.

  2. Drummer says:

    Another reason why the side beams come out slightly later could be because light sabers must have a beam return function (otherwise it would continue forward) and this model uses the return energy to power the side beams.  Why did this function not move at the speed of light?  It has to gain additional charge with repeater crystals.. or something. 

    • Light says:

      In the same way the Jedis use the force to turn their lightsaber on, he would need to use the force to activate the secondary beams, by whatever mechanism we can’t see.

  3. Mark says:

    Also, there are multiple lightsaber forms, obviously anyone using this type of saber isn’t going to be flipping around like Yoda.

  4. Jason says:

    If the metal is made out of Mandelorian iron it would block lightsaber beams as well. Plus anyone using a lightsaber is a master. Only an amateur who is not well versed in the martial arts or has a strong connection with the Force would accidentally snag something or cut themselves.

    • director says:

      It seems that if they are going the revan route then there is going to be alot of call backs to mandalore

  5. Zach says:

    anyone notice that the tweet he’s referencing is from Bill Corbett, of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax?