Let’s say you have a generally useless chopping machine, one that just so happens to be extremely dangerous. What should you do with it? Would the wise thing be to simply dismantle it so it can’t harm anyone, or should you try modifying it to make it more utilitarian and safer?

Wrong. No matter what you said you are wrong. Because it turns out what you should do — the only thing to do actually — is to make it way, way bigger and attach it to an awesome giant fighting mech robot. Duh.

That’s what the team over at MegaBots did with the knife chopping machine originally designed by the Queen of Shitty Robots herself, Simone Giertz. If you don’t remember her original crappy contraption you can see it in action here.

Obviously funny, but totally useless. (Unless you’re goal is to eventually chop off your roommate’s hand.)A pparently all it needed to become the greatest thing ever was to have it supersized, with giant eight-foot, 500-pound steel knives (knives that despite their size are sharp enough to finely slice a lime in half), attached to the MegaBots’ multi-million dollar giant fighting robot.

Let us pause for a brief second and let that soak in: a giant fighting robot with massive steel knives for arms. They should have sent a poet…

The MegaBots team said they decided to “have some fun” with their Mk.III combat robot, their latest and most advanced mech warrior to date (they previously showed off their Mk.II being tested against a wrecking ball in preparation for their giant robot fight with Japan). So while they are still completing work on the legs, they decided to turn Simone’s chopping machine into its arms, because they are the best. (Although we’d replace the phrase “have some fun” with “build the coolest ******** thing in the world.”)

In this additional video from Tested, Norm and Simone got an explanation from the MegaBots guys about what makes this newest robot more advanced than the previous versions, the factors and considerations that drive the building process, and their hopes that by sharing their template it will be used by others to build their own giant fighting robots, a position we strongly support.

Giant Fighting Robots 2020!

Although, when you see a giant knife-armed robot wearing an over-sized chef’s hat, it does make it feel slightly less imposing. Well, that is until it cuts a washing machine in half like it was a head of cabbage, which the machine also did. (Seriously, eight foot knives should not be as effective as a samurai sword. These things are no joke.)

There’s also another video of the robot in action from the MegaBots team themselves, which you can also watch here.

Forget making life easier for mankind, this is really why technology is great, because it can turn a useless little chopping machine into a giant knife-arm robot.

Although, maybe they shouldn’t try this with all of Simone’s shitty robots. We’re fairly certain we don’t need a giant robot that does something like this.

What other crappy contraption that Simone has built would make for a great super-sized addition to the MegaBots robot? What other types of fighting arms should they consider? Slice and dice our comments section below with your best ideas.

Images: MegaBots/Tested/Simone Giertz