Paget Brewster (Criminal Minds) and Rob Benedict (Supernatural) join Arden and Erin to discuss the premiere of Nick Viall’s season on The Bachelor! Tears! Platinum Vageeeeeens! Drunk Dolphin/Sharks in high heels! USA! USA!!! Everyone wants their own nanny like Corinne! Arden recounts her holidays filled with Ambien, potatoes, and reality shows in a cabin! Rob is impressed by the size of Nick’s black box! Paget is convinced that Liz the Doula secretly has a kid! Erin was so proud of Josephine for living up to her crazy potential! All that and Katie has a new screensaver (and it’s a screenshot of next softcore porn at the beginning of the episode!)

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Music by Mark Rivers