If you ever have to face trial by combat, make sure you pick the Mountain as your champion before the other guy does. I know what you’re thinking: “duh, everybody knows that.” But it bears repeating, especially now that Gregor Clegane is a gargantuan undead piece of magic meat flesh. And it’s important (and startling) to remember that there’s an actual man beneath that golden suit of armor. Like an actual human being actor. Aside from playing the Mountain, Hafthor Bjornsson is also Europe’s strongest man, and though he isn’t a psychopathic killer like his television counterpart, his threats should be taken nearly as seriously.
The Euro 2016 soccer tournament kicks off this Friday in France. In a video posted by BBC World Service, Bjornsson weighed in on the upcoming match between his Iceland and Portugal—specifically to Portuguese footballer Cristiano Ronaldo. “I have a message for Cristiano Ronaldo. I know you’re playing against Iceland for the first game [of Euro 2016],” Bjornsson said. “If you dare to score against my team mates, I will find you and crush your head like I did to the Red Viper [Oberyn Martell].” Yikes.
Historically, Portugal is a soccer powerhouse, and they’re heavily favored to both dispose of Iceland and advance deep into the tournament. In light of this Game of Thrones invocation, though, that’s sure to change. If Ronaldo has any sense, not only should he not score, he should just sit this one completely out—lest a well-placed corner ricochet off his head and into the net. Because that would be the last thing his head ever did.
In reality, of course, Bjornsson is probably not going to crush Ronaldo’s head (he does laugh at the end of the video, thank gods old and new), but if a man that dressed up as the Hulk and threw washing machines for a living threatened to crush my head, I’d take every precaution.
Should Cristiano Ronaldo go into hiding? Let us know what you think in the comments below.
Oh boy, the Hound is back! CleganeBowl is imminent!
IMAGE: HBO
