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New STRANGER THINGS Official Card Game Sounds Pretty Confusing

Given the incredible popularity of Netflix’s Stranger Things, it’s no surprise that we’ve seen an onslaught of collectibles, Funko Pops, and even a retro style video game. But nothing is more appropriate for the series than to to venture into tabletop gaming, since Dungeons and Dragons had such a prominent place in the first season. Now, Hasbro is actually making a Stranger Things card game… though it is definitely not what we expected.

Via io9, there is a Stranger Things Kellogg’s Eggo Brand Card Game coming out this fall. And despite the prominent branding on this box, we’re pretty sure that this game doesn’t actually involve eating real Eggos. But perhaps it should!

Io9 was given a brief description of the game’s mechanics that makes our noses bleed every time we try to wrap our heads around it. “Cards can either send a player’s character to the UPSIDE DOWN, make an opponent draw 2, reverse the order of play, summon the DEMOGORGON, or cause a rift that sends everyone who was RIGHT SIDE Up to the UPSIDE DOWN, and vice versa! To win and escape the UPSIDE DOWN, get rid of all your EGGO cards before the DEMOGORGON attacks or be toast!”

We really do hope that the actual instructions in the game are a little bit easier to understand. Whoever wrote that certainly wasn’t Mr. Clarke! Plus, we’re pretty sure that the last sentence is really going out of its way to make a breakfast pun.

The game lets players choose between Will, Mike, Lucas, Dustin, Eleven, Hopper, and Barb. Now, we want justice for Barb as much as anyone else, but the game really should have put Nancy and Jonathan in that lineup (maybe Steve, too). Presumably we’ll learn more when Hasbro releases the game this fall, but there had better be some really well-written instructions in that box!

What do you think about the concept of Stranger Things‘ Eggo card game? Escape from the Upside Down in the comment section below!

Images: Netflix/Hasbro

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