Well it’s safe to say without a shadow of a doubt, Clone Club is back in full effect, you guys. The second season of BBC America’s captivating series Orphan Black has returned and [insert your favorite round of I’m-so-excited-expletives here] did it return with a force. This show did not waste any time throwing us back into the madness from where we left off at the season one finale. (And if you’ve forgotten any of season one, may I suggest our Newcloner’s Guide to the Clone Club?) Sarah’s on the run, Alison’s doing theater (not Cats!), Rachel’s HBICing, Cosima’s getting in deep with the DYAD, and HELENA IS ALIVE. Which, crackerjacks! Wasn’t that just bananagrams? Oh, we have so much to discuss.

After attempting to make contact with the other clones following the disappearance of Mrs. S and Kira, we’re almost immediately introduced to the North American faction of Prolethean weirdos coming in, spouting off about free range, undomesticated eggs and normal chickens, giving us a taste of their ideological differences from Tomas and Maggie Chen on the side. Sarah got away from them at first… though maybe she shouldn’t have been so fast, since they turned out to be the real holders of Kira, NOT Rachel Duncan, like she led Sarah to believe. Guess we can put “being a manipulative liar” under the shared genetic traits umbrella. But are they really “her best option,” as Herr Meister Creepmeister claimed them to be? Eh, I’m not so sure. But it was nice to see they kept Kira alive and in good enough shape to be photographed. Still, Mrs. S. has got some explainin’ to do (where was she, anyway?).

We also got our Felix and Alison fix fairly early in this episode, too. A vision in assless chaps, Fe was sent by Sarah to fetch a gun from our unhinged and kill-happy housewife. Whether it’s Alison or Felix that’s the high one, we’re going to have a good time.”What’s with the balls of your thumbs? They’re so bouncy!” (Fe the scallywag.) “I’m not in control of the muse.” Oh, Alison, she was made for community theater. Particularly the show she’s performing in: They’re singing about cleaning up after an “unfortunate death”?! Lord, do I love this show. Nabbing Aynsley’s leading role in the musical will certainly not help poor Alison’s guilt and general anxiety, but as evidenced by the scenes from next week, her abstinence from liquid and pill-form helpers didn’t last long.

Speaking of medication… Ugh, Cosima. Poor, sick Cosima. And Delphine’s there, too, playing each and every side she can — giving Cosima’s blood to Leekie after she swore she wouldn’t. She’s invested! Because love! Gah. The increasing complexity of their relationship now looks to be adding coworkers AND doctor/patient to everything else these two seem to be. What a dynamic (read: so insanely complicated) relationship these two have. Cosima is showing “the same symptoms as the others,” which means we’re probably going to meet Jennifer Fitzsimmons soon. Oh, and also R.I.P. Katja. We’ll never forget you, fauxginger euroclone.

Paul was there, too, being his most Pauliest. Pauling about, being Pauly (not Shore. He doesn’t have the cadence). He’s in a really tricky position, isn’t he? Too valuable as a tie to Sarah to kill, but still also a huge liability because of his feelings for her. They have no choice but to keep him around, and you can tell by his mean-muggin’ sourpuss Daniel wasn’t too keen on the set-up.

We also got a bit of a nod to the real-life U.S. Supreme Court ruling on human cloning (something the co-creators said they were going to do). I imagine that synthetic versus natural DNA thing will come into play big time later on. I mean, they had lobbyists workin’ on that DYAD dollar to get the ruling that they wanted, with apparently more to come. Anywhoodles, Ms. Duncan met with the Koreas, BOTH Koreas — I wonder what it takes to set up THAT sort of meeting — under the cover of the the DYAD event, which is exactly where we got our first cloneswap of the season: Sarah as Cosima. It worked out well for Cosima, though: Sarah managed to finagle her a lab of her very own. Who says grifters aren’t good for anything?

Toting Ramón the grocery boy/drug pusher/gun salesman/flower delivery boy’s ladygrip — such an entrepreneur, this one — Sarah brought the main action to the forefront. Rachel, being the boss (literally as well as figuratively, it seems) that she is, wasn’t all that fazed, seeming to sense Sarah as she entered the room (or maybe she just saw her reflection in the window), though she was decidedly NOT OK with having a hand laid on her. Though, to be fair, neither was Alison, as evidenced by her impressive-yet-totally-ignored (but the suburbs are so safe) rape whistlin’ skills. NOTE: Terrified Alison a-rape whistlin’ is a GIF the Internet needs immediately, you guys. Get on that, Internet!

And now, here come the questions. Kira it seems, isn’t the only biological goldmine: So is Sarah, according to Leekie. And why’s that? Right now I’m on the “Sarah and Helena are the originals, or maybe just Helena was and Sarah was a surprise twin they weren’t expecting or counting on.” So maybe Sarah’s something else entirely, or not 100% a clone? Who knows, it’s still too early to tell. But clearly, we’re going to start getting some more answers if they’re dropping leading hints like that.

And speaking of Helena (who is back): “Excuse me, my seestra shot me” was maybe the perfect thing for her to say upon returning to the land of the living, even if I missed it on first viewing because I was screaming obscenities in the air and waving my arms around when her boots appeared on screen. And while I will admit I was, at first, a little annoyed they brought her back (why does she keep on surviving? I had already accepted her death!), I know if anyone can make that return work and keep me on board, it’s this show. AND IT’S BACK! We’ve a whole season of Orphan Black in front of us, kids. This was only just the beginning. Aren’t you so excited? We kinda wanna sing it from the rooftops.

Theories, Thoughts, and Things:
– Art’s back! Yay Art! Help solve this crime, c’mon Art, do it! We really hope Art joins the Clone Club and helps avenge Beth’s death (because I think he was secretly in love with her while she was alive. Think about it).
– Ugh, Angie, though — right?
– Leekie was at his Leekiest, and that’s really all there is to say about that.
– I think Mrs. S’ attachment to this goes beyond simply “Professor from Project LEDA.” Namely, I think it might be half of her DNA that made up the clones.
– Did you spot co-creators Graeme Manson and John Fawcett’s cameo in the episode?
– Wait… the DYAD operates in 134 countries?! (Tell me there’s a Nun clone in Vatican City. Please.)
– “There are other forces vying for our fate, Sarah.” Do we think there’s more than just the Proletheans in on this? We know that “the feds” took over the crime scene — ooh, could the government be after them, too? (I imagine someone whispering “conspiracy!” after I say stuff like that.)
– “Sure you wanna know what this is all about?” “I guess we’ll find out,” with a cut-to Helena, still alive? KILLING ME so good, so good.

Have any thoughts or theories? Let’s hash ’em out in the comments.