Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention! I’ve just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story, and I need all of you to stop what you’re doing and listen: someone on the internet has mashed up kittens with sloths, and it is the best/most confusing thing ever.

Yes, these are kittens with sloth faces. They’re called slittens, which is a terrifying name for something so cute. The Tumblr was created by Australian graphic designer/genius person Rachael Aslett (creator of another brilliant tumblr, Cats That Look Like Pin Up Girls), and features all manner of silly-faced nightmares. Some of them look a little pensive, while others appear downright homicidal. Captions include friendly slitten greetings like ‘Hihi” and “HAUNTING YOUR DREAMS.”

Nerdist writer Alicia Lutes brought these adorable monster creatures to my attention, and I promptly burst into tears. We’re talking Kristen Bell level, full-on hysterics here. (Editor’s note: It’s true. We were all deeply concerned. – DC)

Please enjoy the madness in the gallery below:

Am I right or am I right? There’s a certain je ne sais quoi about these tiny mutants, a little something special that crawls deep into your soul and makes a cosy home there. Now that you’ve seen them, slittens will either climb to the top of your favorite-imaginary-animals list or traumatize you for all eternity. Either way, my work here is done.