We here at Nerdist are, as we’ve previously announced, foursquare behind exciting new presidential candidate Marvin E. Quasniki, but for what does the plain-talking Nevada turquoise farmer stand? What are his positions on the issues facing America today? Wwll, if you missed his appearance with Erin Burnett on CNN, the video’s right there up top. And our pals at GeekChicDaily scored an exclusive interview with the man himself (he wouldn’t return my calls), and you can get his candid answers to ten pointed questions by clicking here.

A sample of Quasniki wisdom: “I want people to know that if they vote for me, they’re getting a president who’s just like them: a real American with regular problems, few qualifications for office and very little understanding of how the executive branch works.” And you’ll find out his plans for the poor and unemployed (it involves towels, and who can’t support that?).

So read the interview, see the videos here, and get on the bandwagon now while there’s still room. Hurry. Don’t trip or anything.