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LOST RIVER Wants You to Look at Matt Smith’s Muscles. Look at His Muscles. Look at His Muscles!

Will you please, for the love of all things Wholy, look at Matt Smith‘s goddamn muscles already? He’s been asking nicely this whole time! Look at his muscles, look at his muscles, look at his muscles! Did you not hear his demand for it, Internet? The Eleventh Doctor himself is asking — nay, imploring! — that you LOOK AT HIS FREAKING MUSCLES ALREADY JEEZ. For reasons currently unknown, natch, though we’re hopeful they’ll be explained at a later date in Ryan Gosling’s directorial debut, Lost River.

Not to give anything away, but: be prepared for nothing. This purported official trailer for the film once known as How to Catch a Monster just appears on the screen, nameless, shirtless, creditless, Christina Hendricks-less, demanding a bit of Smith-based bodily obsession. Taking a page from his director superfriend, Nicholas Winding Refn, it seems Gosling prefers starkness to any sort of tangible storyline. (Probably because he’s so dreamily artistic. Hey girl.)

So, in lieu of plot points we get Matt Smith, hanging out in Detroit on top of a car — microphone in hand, because how else would he be able to command you to musclegaze?! — staring at a youngish lad (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.‘s Iain DeCaestecker) with a bag full of metal-y sounding stuff. We also see him pump iron in the grass. And get ready for his gun show. Matt Smith’s character, Bully, is either a bad guy (a… bully, perhaps?) or a serious fitness buff. Or probably both! We don’t want to limit the guy and what he can do.

Let’s play i-spy: what is there to look at in this trailer other than Matt Smith’s muscles? Let us know in the comments.

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  1. shanae says:

    Gorgeouzzz. Are you trying to kill us Matt? Can hardly wait to see this. Has anyone heard anything more about the rumour that Matt is bringing American Pyscho to Broadway early next year? Saw it in London – best damn show I have ever seen and Matt is beyond excellent.

  2. Ricardo says:

    I mean, before she died

  3. Ricardo says:

    Lost River, it means that the doctor is undercover, and he is looking for River Song, in the past.

  4. Sonya says:

    I’m looking! I’m looking…….  why can’t I stop looking?

  5. Meg says:

    someone posted a link to the script for this if you guys are interested:
    Seems interesting to me, but hard to visualize.

  6. Marsa says:

    Oh My Goodness Iain de Caestecker!!!!! Made my day!  

  7. Andie says:

    Did anyone look at the cast on IMDB and see that there is a Bad Wolf party-goer? That alone makes me want to see this.

  8. Marf4rb says:

    This is ridiculous.

  9. Mocl says:

    Pretty sure that’s a bag of baseball equipment he’s carrying. Not that this information gets us any closer to discovering what the hell is going on here.

  10. Erica says:

    Ummmmmm wtf???? 

  11. Dustin says:


  12. I think not knowing exactly what’s going on has made me all the more curious…  Better than the ads that spoil all the best parts of their movie, at least.

  13. Keni says:

    I think…I might want to see his muscles? I need to watch it again to come up with a definitive answer.  

  14. Billy Petton says:

    Well… that makes me not want to see the movie. What a crappy trailer.

  15. Brandi says:

    Can we talk about that sequin shirt? What? I dont… I cany…