You might not have heard, but there’s a war going on.
No, it’s not some foreign excursion. It’s happening right here in the homeland, and you might say it contains a secret claws that can really bruin your day.
It’s the War on Bearror.
We tried to warn you. Back in March, we told you about Image Comics‘ Shirtless Bear-Fighter, in which our hirsute hero must combat crazed bears and the Hillbilly Warlock who’s driving them mad. But that wasn’t enough. We are looking at you, through this screen, right now, and can tell you are not prepared.
We are going to have to train you. And we know exactly how. On June 21st, the day the first issue of Image Comics drops, so will a free-to-play 8-bit style game in which you will learn very quickly how to fight bears without putting on a shirt first.
Ready for a glimpse? Because here is the trailer:
It’s like Final Fight, but with bears and upper-body male nudity. In other words, more awesome.
We are informed by the creative team that “it will be an HTML5 version that will run on practically any device, mobile or desktop, instantly without download or installation.” Follow Shirtless Bear-Fighter on Twitter and you’ll be among the first to know where to find this ultra-realistic battle simulator.
And to those of you out there who live beardless lives, don’t worry. Beards aren’t just hairs on your chin; we’re talking metaphysical beards, which are a state of mind. A state of mind attained by punching bears. After all, the word “beard” is just “bear” with one extra letter, which makes it a better word.
So are you ready for it? We mean, are you TRULY ready? Give us your best roar in comments and show your stuff!
(Disclaimer: Do not punch actual bears in real life. They will kill you.)
Images: Image Comics