The late Heath Ledger is best known for unforgettable roles like the Joker in The Dark Knight, Ennis Del Mal in Brokeback Mountain, Patrick Verona in Ten Things I Hate About You, and William Thatcher in A Knight’s Tale (that movie is cheesy goodness and I will fight you on that). But as it turns out, his true desire wasn’t to be in front of the camera — it was to be behind it.

At least, that’s what Heath Ledger’s friends and family all say in the latest trailer for I Am Heath Ledger. Directed by Derik Murray, the Spike TV documentary will explore the life of Ledger, who died unexpectedly in 2008, via the lens of his own camera. Check it out below, and we’re sorry in advance for all the tears.

Ledger’s directorial work consisted primarily of music videos, although in 2007 he disclosed a desire to work on a documentary about British songwriter Nick Drake, who died young due to an apparent overdose. He’d also been planning to direct a feature length adaptation of the book The Queens’ Gambit, about a troubled chess prodigy (who would have been played by Ellen Page), who becomes famous overnight and finds herself addicted to painkillers as a method of coping with her reality. In light of how Ledger himself died, the similar subject matter of both projects is a little eerie, but more distressing is the fact that he never got to work on any of them.

I Am Heath Ledger premieres at the Tribeca Film Festival on April 23; it will also see a limited film release on May 3 and will finally be aired on Spike May 17. Are you planning to see it for yourself? Tell us in the comments!

Images: Spike TV