Our long international nightmare has finally come to an end thanks to the Last Son of Krypton himself. The Internet whipped itself into a frenzy over a Variety report that part of Justice League’s extensive $25 million reshoots will result in VFX artists having to digitally remove the mustache that Henry Cavill grew for his role in Mission Impossible 6. Yet amidst the swirling eddy of memes, hastily made Photoshops, and jokes emerged a true hero: Henry Cavill. The actor took to Instagram on Wednesday to address the mustache controversy head-on, and shed some much-needed light on his prodigious crumbcatcher.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BXBJas2FYuP/?taken-by=henrycavill&hl=en
There you have it, folks! It turns out that the truth is far more insidious than any Rogue Nation or herald of Darkseid. We now have confirmation that Henry Cavill’s flavor saver is, in fact, some sort of Lovecraftian nightmare-beast that dwells on his upper lip. This stygian soup strainer is a creature from some heretofore unseen hirsute realm that has crossed over into our plane of existence to wreak havoc on the international box office of our most important franchise films. It isn’t some cutesy way of integrating the Man of Steel Gillette ad campaign into the real world; it is an eldritch entity that is here to sow discord and possibly drain Henry Cavill’s life force until he only kind of fills out a Henley instead of makes it look like an extension of his own massive musculature.
One thing is for certain: we may need to assemble some sort of Brush-tice League to tamp down any errant hairs that seek to wrap their fiendish follicles around any other of our most important institutions.
What do you think of the horrifying truth behind Henry Cavill’s mustache? Let us know in the comments below.
Image: Warner Bros
