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DEADPOOL Wants You to Touch Yourself

Fellow XY chromosomers, lend me your ears! Other parts of your body, please don’t lend me, but do check them regularly yourself for cancer. Deadpool decrees it.

The “Merc with a Mouth” is no stranger to cancer. The horrific disease helped to catalyze his participation in the Weapon X program, and ultimately, his transition from Wade Wilson, badass human mercenary, into Deadpool, even more badass super-human antihero. But in real life, where we mere mortals are beholden to normal biological processes until some kind of super-healing factor is invented (by hopefully anybody but an entity called “Department K”), cancer is serious business. Including the kind that develops in the testicles, which is the most common form found in men between the ages of 15 and 35.

Luckily, there are preventative measures men can take to protect themselves against the development of testicular cancer, and it centers around a glorious (dare we say… sack-tacular?) past-time; massaging ye olde scrotum.

In the above PSA, which was released on Ryan Reynold’s YouTube channel along with the hashtag #TouchYourselfTonight, Deadpool outlines the best strategies for properly inspecting one’s marble pouch for cancer, including rolling around your “man berries” between your thumb and fingers to feel for lumps, as well as the back of the sack, where the spermatic cord and epididymis are located. Along with the useful tips, Deadpool also drops a bevy of excellent new euphemisms for testicles and scrotum, including what really should become the most popular term for testicles in the history of humankind, “smooth criminals.”

All kidding aside, testicular cancer is an extremely serious disease, and men really should be checking themselves often to make sure they can catch it early if it begins to develop. More information and in-depth guidelines for self-examination can be found through the American Cancer Society.

Now that we’ve seen Deadpool do a PSA for testicular cancer, the only question is, can he please do every PSA in the future? Imagine how many people would stop smoking, or drinking and driving, or conducting horrible experiments on innocent mutants if Deadpool was the one to tell them not to. The merc’s mouth could be used to do so much good…

What do you think about Deadpool’s PSA for preventing testicular cancer? Is “smooth criminals” indeed the greatest euphemism for testicles of all time, or do you have a better one? Let us know in the comments section below!

HT: Mashable

Image: Ryan Reynolds

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