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A Collection of Jokes Bob Dylan Has Told on Stage, Compiled By Fans

It’s oft said that all musicians secretly want to be comedians and all comedians secretly want to be musicians. For musicians, that claim is most evident during their banter between songs, introducing the band, and other stage chatter. Even the legendary Bob Dylan has indulged in telling several jokes during his performances throughout years.

There are so many of those jokes that Bob Dylan fansite Expecting Rain has a collection of jokes that Dylan has told on stage as compiled by fans. In reading a few of them, Dylan is all over the place, ranging from sharp, wry jokes to “dad humor.”


“I’ve always rememebered and quoted this line from a Dylan concert a long time ago — it was in Tucson, and might have been Rolling Thunder. He introduced the back-up singers as ‘My ex-wife, my next wife, my girlfriend, and my fiancee.’ I’m trying to remember if there were even four different women, or just three.” -Jeremy Heist

“I almost didn’t make it tonight… had a flat tire…. there was a fork in the road…” -CovWoman61, June 22, 1999, Hollywood, CA

I’ve personally never had the privilege of seeing Dylan live, but I can only imagined that most of these probably killed, especially if they followed such songs as “Masters of War” or “Gates of Eden.”


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  1. Joe says:

    “My ex-wife was a tennis player, love meant nothing to her.”

  2. Peter says:

    I saw him in concert a few years ago at the Meadowlands. The Raconteurs opened. They were great. Bob Dylan was . . . awful. My friend and I left early, along with a LOT of others. BD had his back to the audience the ENTIRE time. He never spoke, except to introduce the band. Only Miles Davis could get away with that.

    That show was a waste of money. I did learn a valuable lesson that night. Never pay to see Bob Dylan in concert.

    Jake, no disrespect meant, but I still have a REALLY hard time figuring out what exactly you’re trying to say. Editors are your friends. Don’t be afraid of them.

  3. Kurt says:

    A direct link to the compiled list would be nice. I’m looking and still haven’t found it on the site.

  4. Shannon says:

    I love this. I’ve seen Bob lots of times. I remember when Charlie Sexton was with the band he made the same joke a couple different times about him almost missing the show because he had to go visit his brother in the Hamilton County jail.

  5. Dani says:

    He told the “windshield vipers” joke when I saw him in Bethlehem, PA a few years ago!

  6. Ben says:

    Saw him a few years ago at RIT – “Started raining on the way here, my guitarist was driving, he put a couple snakes on the windshield – called them windshield vipers.”

  7. I’ve been to 15 Dylan shows, and can’t recall him ever saying a word to the crowd. In fact, at shows end he and the band would just stand there, with Bob almost glaring at but barely acknowledging the crowd, and the band following his lead. I thought this post was a gag at first.