Herewith, for Halloween from the folks at Ashton Kutcher’s Thrash Lab and in glorious slow-motion, their “Top 10 Ways to Smash a Pumpkin”:

10. Baseball bat.

9. Sword.

8. Thrown against wall.

7. Run over by car.

6. Chain saw.

5. Thrown from roof.

4. Shattering a glass pane.

3. Axe throwing (with pumpkin perched on a dummy’s head).

2. Light saber.

1. Kaboom, in a walkoff.

I can think of some other options — guillotine, dropping a weight on top, woodchipper — but your mileage may vary. And, no, we won’t make any Billy Corgan references here.