Heidi Niedermeyer (Kid Farm! Countless hilarious web videos! Comedy!) makes it weird!
Follow @peteholmes on Twitter and Like the show on Facebook. Buy YMIW shirts! Order his new special “Nice Try, The Devil”!
You Made It Weird #155: Heidi Niedermeyer
I don’t know if it was because I was a little buzzed but I was laughing through the whole episode . I love you both so much after this. Once again well done pete .
@Pete Holmes – You were talking about gettin’ busy with a lady in England. Here’s the best argument for boot-knocking ever written:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/To_His_Coy_Mistress
“To His Coy Mistress” by Andrew Marvell
Had we but world enough, and time,
This coyness, lady, were no crime.
We would sit down and think which way
To walk, and pass our long love’s day;
Thou by the Indian Ganges’ side
Shouldst rubies find; I by the tide
Of Humber would complain. I would
Love you ten years before the Flood;
And you should, if you please, refuse
Till the conversion of the Jews.
My vegetable love should grow
Vaster than empires, and more slow.
An hundred years should go to praise
Thine eyes, and on thy forehead gaze;
Two hundred to adore each breast,
But thirty thousand to the rest;
An age at least to every part,
And the last age should show your heart.
For, lady, you deserve this state,
Nor would I love at lower rate.
But at my back I always hear
Time’s winged chariot hurrying near;
And yonder all before us lie
Deserts of vast eternity.
Thy beauty shall no more be found,
Nor, in thy marble vault, shall sound
My echoing song; then worms shall try
That long preserv’d virginity,
And your quaint honour turn to dust,
And into ashes all my lust.
The grave’s a fine and private place,
But none I think do there embrace.
Now therefore, while the youthful hue
Sits on thy skin like morning dew,
And while thy willing soul transpires
At every pore with instant fires,
Now let us sport us while we may;
And now, like am’rous birds of prey,
Rather at once our time devour,
Than languish in his slow-chapp’d power.
Let us roll all our strength, and all
Our sweetness, up into one ball;
And tear our pleasures with rough strife
Thorough the iron gates of life.
Thus, though we cannot make our sun
Stand still, yet we will make him run.
“I feel like every time it rained, it was God going ‘I can smell you.’”
FYI, I laughed. Thanks, Petie Pants.
Genesis 6:4 (Original KJV):
There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that,
when the sons of God CAME in unto the daughters of men, and
they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which
were of old, men of renown.
Yeah, how do you solve a problem like an ill-gotten Rolex? Did he pay cash at the bar?
I don’t envy her. It is a better experience to have found Gary and returned the watch than to have a guilt-ridden summer abroad.
This was a fun episode until the story about hanging out with a ‘sleazy’ guy for free drinks and cab rides and then stealing his watch and proudly selling it to study abroad. Is there a female equivalent for ‘sleazy’ that hasn’t been co-opted by hateful/misogynistic groups?
Raymond story made my week! Sooooo great!
Don’t have him on the show though, dont want to be dissapointed
She is presh and Sweetie Petey’s bag story was a delight. One of my YMIW favs no doubt.
I might just use that hotel pickup line one day. (on vacation)
ALL THESE WORLDS
ARE YOURS EXCEPT
EUROPA
ATTEMPT NO
LANDING THERE
(the bag story was great)
Pete! Love the show. I think that moon orbits Saturn. It’s name is either Titan or Encleadus. They (the smart people) figure it is like 10 miles of ice, and then liquid water. Good pull.
That park bag story totally made my day man! Thanks!!!!
Pete always has the best interviews with his women guests. I guess gabbin’ like gals is a good interview tactic.
Heidi’s open-mindedness and honesty kind of possibly made my heart flutter. As for the bag story, it simply made me smile. Pete, I hope Raymond appoints you godfather of his future business babies.
FREE PODCAST.
Absolutely loved the central park bag story. made my day, Pete!
Darn you Katie!!! The fun might never have stopped if it weren’t for your obligations and responsible nature!
“As they like to say, Bay bodies tell no tales…” Love it!
Pete, an article on the New Yorker cover you love — maybe you’ve seen this? Delightful. http://www.thethoughtfox.co.uk/my-first-new-yorker-cover/
Bring her back…RIGHT NOW!
Ok, maybe night right now. That being said, I enjoyed the hell out of this episode. Thank you.
That’s funny, its also an acting exercise for me to imagine that pornstars like the finish.
riffin’ bits
What was the subway / missed connection story she referred to?
Another great ep. Good chemistry.
I’m the middle of 7 kids… Now I’m sad.
Oh, first or second comment…this is soo much responsibility…
Well Pete, as always, This was a delight!
If i had one wish I’d use it to have you bring back the fake Gamefly games bit at the Live YMIWs…well actually I’d wish for money or superpowers, but you get the point. It’s one of my favorite things.