In the inaugural episode of Will You Accept This Rose, Arden starts a Kickstarter campaign to get a tramp stamp of a Bachelorette quote, and they meet season 16 villain Lace: “I will braid your hair so tight you will lose consciousness.” Also, Ben Higgins falls in love with Boobs in the Moonlight and Eddie Pepitone rants about getting dragged into watching The Bachelor for the first time, creepy twins, and how Noam Chomsky should be the next Bachelor. America Wins Again!

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Music by Mark Rivers