Well, why NOT redo the Imperial March for the new Star Wars chapters? Okay, I can think of several reasons, but Ben Schwartz, who you know as Jean-Ralphio on Parks and Recreation and Clyde on House of Lies (and for his appearance on the Nerdist Podcast), and Oscar-winning composer Michael Giacchino (he won for Up but also did the music for Lost, the rebooted Star Trek movies, and Alias — hey, think he might have an in with J.J. Abrams or something? — gave it a shot. Unfortunately for them, Mr. Abrams was not interested.

And the shout to Bill Murray and Paul Shaffer is entirely appropriate: