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What Might Be The Best Zombie Weapon? Wildlife

Sword or sub-machine gun? Or grizzly bear?

When the zombie apocalypse comes, what is going to keep you from becoming one of them? Do you haul around heavy artillery and ammunition, or go with a light but vulnerable hand-to-hand approach? It’s fun to speculate about how to best take out a zombie horde, but perhaps the best weaponry we could ask for is already stomping around our forests.

In what should be a fun series of videos dubbed “The Walking Dead vs. Wildlife,” the National Wildlife Federation is taking advantage of growing zombie-mania to educate us about the incredibly efficient meat disposal units living among us. From flesh-eating beetles to vultures to alligators to maggots, the NWF is proposing that the walking dead don’t stand a chance against our wildlife alone.

For example, one large North American bear, by itself, would eat dozens of walkers:

The bear is a particularly formidable zombie-killer. For one, though bears’ diets don’t include just meat, they love to eat carrion — dead flesh. And if bears began to associate the shamble and moan of a walker with an easy meal, bears’ sense of smell — able to pick up food literally miles away — whole populations of the furry tractors would turn into effective zombie-removal systems.

And remember, you never have to reload a grizzly. Or vultures for that matter:

Or voracious beetles:

Or coyotes:

Think you have a better idea for the ultimate zombie weapon? Let us know in the comments below. I’m going with domesticated/armored lion pride.

IMAGE: Cinnamon Black bear by Valerie

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  1. craigsword says:

    One good Sharknado and that would be it for Zombiekind

  2. Zombie Eater says:

    Sorry but I don’t think a bear could take on a hoard of 5-10 zombies, it might gobble up a couple of them, but one or two of the zombies will get a bite of the bear in, and then yay, we have bear zombies

  3. dingosl says:

    a bear would be scared shiitless and run away if it saw a mass of walking dead people lumbering pass nearby.

  4. Lex Ibarra says:

    my strategy is strap jesus and chuck norris with duct tape, both holding nokia phones and release them to the zombie horde, but that’s just me

  5. MISSY says:


  6. Kyle Hill says:

    Noted: Everyone is much more scared of zombie bears than zombie people. AS WE SHOULD BE.

  7. OstrichSack says:

    I’d go Gator with a Shark strapped to it’s back.

  8. NachoKingP says:

    I know in most zombie canon animals can’t be turned, but what if the virus COULD infect animals?  What would be worse than zombie bears, who just attack relentlessly and have no self preservation mechanism?  I can’t think of much else.

  9. Best option, flesh flies. They will breed insanely fast and should take care of every fresh corpse inside of six weeks.  Thee biomass of even one walker becomes a massive swarm of flies,  and they reproduce exponentially.  Humans will be choking of flies for a few months but all the zombies will be skeletonized and then all the flesh flies site and become fertilizer. 
    In the long run,  the decomposers win. 

  10. The answer is clear.  We build terminators designed and programmed to terminate walkers. They won’t be eaten.  They can’t be turned,  they can claw through a football stadium of walkers and they absolutely positively will not stop. 

    • NachoKingP says:

      Not only that, but zombies won’t be attracted to terminator robots because they’re not flesh, so they can just kill them without needed to be concerned about being swarmed.

  11. That would be assuming that animals can’t be infected… Zombears would be scarier than any walkers…

  12. Fluffernutter78 says:

    Depending upon the zombie lore in play here, eating a zombie may kill the bear and turn it into a zombie bear.

  13. CMichaelCooper says:

    Soon after, when nature has become dependent upon zombie flesh for survival and supplies are running low, PETA begins campaigning for the forced zombification of people because not having enough zombies is forcing animals out of their natural habitat.

  14. Matt says:

    Question: What kind of bear is best?

  15. JMoneyPN says:

    But what if a bear, looking for a quick and easy walker meal, walks into a horde of zombies and ends up getting bit?  Then we have zombie bear on our hands and that is all bad!

  16. J. Stacks says:

    I agree with bluenotebacker, what happens when the bears turn. Then we’re really screwed.

  17. Hey Kyle, what are you saying about a nailgun? I am pretty fixed on this idea. Quiet, near infinite ammo. Basically like Snoop’s (the Wire not the rapper, can’t see the Dogg doing too much literal nailing). Kitt

    • grownwrong says:

      Snoop didn’t kill with the nail gun. She used it to ‘re-board up the abandoned buildings.

  18. Mary says:

    But wouldn’t the bears then become zombie bears?

  19. What frightens me though, is how do we know the bears don’t turn zombie in the process?