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Weekend Earworms: Good Gracious, the Great Grammys of 1983!

Weekend Earworms: Good Gracious, the Great Grammys of 1983!

An estimated 92% of us experience earworms. Despite the annoying times we can’t get a chorus or a hook of an overplayed pop song out of our heads, getting a really good earworm stuck can be one of the best things, ever. We here at Nerdist are dead set on bringing you those types of songs—even if only for the weekend. So shove this into your grey matter!

Greetings, wormies! Nope. Immediately regret that nickname for anyone who reads this column. Earwormers? Better, but still pretty daft. E-Dubberz? Oh God, that’s way worse. I guess there’s just not a cool nickname I can come up with. Speaking of things that aren’t cool, I heard just about the most pretentious hipster thing this week. While riding the train I overheard a few people talking about this year’s Grammy Awards and they all seemed to be parroting the same negative opinion of them.

“The Grammys just aren’t as cool as they were when we were kids!” they said in a way that seemed to pat themselves on the back. I sat there incredulous at such a weird sentence. I mean, who forms such a strong opinion about an award ceremony? Is it possible to be more of a fan of the awards than of the actual music? Add to that an enthusiasm for the ones when you were a child? I thought this couldn’t be possible but after a Google search, I realized I was so, so wrong. Particularly with the Grammys awarded the year I was born. 1983 was awesome!

Let’s start with “Best Video of the Year”

Olivia Newton-John – “Physical”

I know, right!? This alone would be enough of an earworm for any column but damn, those people on the train were right because this O-Liv N-John track is only the tip of this musical iceberg! Next up, “Best R&B Vocal Performance, Male.”

Marvin Gaye – “Sexual Healing”

I swear that I’m not fudging this list. These were all winners the year I was born and it seems I just happened to enter the world on a good year for music. Well, at least a good year for music awards, since these songs were released in 1982. However, I’m completely biased since it’s my column and see no issue whatsoever in claiming these for my own birth year. Moving on. “Best Rock Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocal” couldn’t beat what we’ve already gone through, right?

Survivor – “Eye Of The Tiger”

Boom! There seriously might not be a better earworm than this and it’s about damn time I shared it. If there’s ever a Weekend Earworms greatest hits, other songs will certainly have to compete with this one.

Now that we’ve all got the eye of the tiger coursing through our veins, we should probably slow things down a bit with “Best Country Vocal Performance, Male.”

Willie Nelson – “Always on My Mind”

I owe those genius train-dwellers the biggest apology and I shan’t ever doubt the words of strangers on public transit ever again. [Note: This is NOT good advice.] Alright, we don’t have all day; we’ve got tonight’s Grammys to watch and judge harshly against this list. Let’s go with…”Best Instrumental Composition.”

John Williams – “Flying – Theme From E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial

Ha! Take THAT, this year’s “Best Instrumental Compositions!” The end title to Bridge of Spies can’t hold a glowing alien finger to the theme for E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial

Okay, last one. I promise. Let’s end with 1983’s “Record of the Year”

Toto – “Rosanna”

Have you ever heard anyone ever say “[Blank] is the best band ever!”? Was the band they mentioned Toto? If they didn’t, that person is very wrong. Toto also played “Africa” which–as anyone who’s being really honest with themselves would tell you–is absolutely the best song ever recorded. This is fact and therefore cannot be challenged. So, by extension, “Rosanna” deserves all the accolades in the world. Plus, a young Patrick Swayze is in the video!

What songs won Grammys the year you were born? Who do you think will win this year? Let’s discuss in the comments below!

Image: Toto

Blake Rodgers writes for Nerdist from Chicago, IL where he lives happily with his Guinness World Record for High Fives. You can be his pal by following him on Twitter (@TheBlakeRodgers)

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