An estimated 98% of us experience earworms. Despite the annoying times that we can’t get a chorus or a hook of an overplayed pop song out of our heads, getting a really good earworm stuck can be one of the best things ever.

We here at Nerdist are dead-set on bringing you those types of songs, if only for the weekend. We’ll be scouring the internet for the best earworms we can shove into your meaty brains!

You know who’s part of that 98%? Our new Editor-in-chief Rachel Heine! Have you said hello and congratulated her yet on the promotion yet? Well, you should, because she’s pretty darn great! Come to think of it, the only negative thing that even comes to mind when I think “Rachel” is that when I asked her to suggest a song that may be stuck in her head this week for this very article, she went and got Mark Ronson’s pop hit “Uptown Funk” sufficiently wedged back into my head. Haven’t heard it yet? INCONCEIVABLE! but here it is anyways:

Mark Ronson – Uptown Funk ft. Bruno Mars

Now it’s not a bad song by any means. In fact, it’s an incredibly catchy pop song and Ronson is an amazing producer who will surely continue to crank out hit songs for years to come. It’s just that, for one thing, it isn’t really a funk song at all, and secondly, it has become so damn overplayed and parodied that frankly everyone, including our dear EIC, is sick of it. In fact, I won’t name names, but the phrase “living nightmare” was thrown around.

Rachel’s suggestion gave me a mission for this week’s earworms – Get some listenable funk worthy of being played on loop into our EIC’s head. Additionally, doing so will hopefully secure the exorbitant pay raise I’ve just assumed she’ll give me. (It’s in writing now Rachel. It’s basically a binding contract.) Anyways, onto some funky stuff. First up…

DAG – You Make Me Feel

I admit, North Carolina band DAG is a fairly random band to post but I wanted to go beyond the obvious funk choices if I expect to force out the “song that shall not be named”. With their debut album, Righteous all the way back in nineteen hundred and ninety four, and their 1998 follow-up, Apartment #635, the band unfortunately didn’t become very popular, but the albums still hold up to this day. I’d like to think their single “Our Love Would Be Much Better (If I Gave A Damn About You)” would probably do well in today’s musical climate of songs that beg some sort of message to an ex. With DAG being broken up for more than 15 years now, there isn’t much chance to catch them on tour, but I can assure you a Pandora station returns some great songs. Bonus DAG songs worth listening to – Righteous (City Pain) and Lovely Jane.

If that didn’t help at all, lets go for some funk from a recognizable name and yet a totally different sound than most are used to…

Beck – Debra

Words cannot express how much I love this song off of Beck’s 1999 Midnite Vultures. Who out there can’t relate to the timeless story of meeting a JC Penny employee, wooing her with a stick of gum and your impressive Hyundai only to profess your intentions to get with her and her sister who’s name you’re fairly unsure of. Beck says it best in the chorus:

“I wanna get with you (Oh girl) And your sister. I think her name is Debra”

The song is wonderfully ridiculous, and despite being a tongue-in-cheek joke on the slow jams of the ’90s, it still ends up being quite the slow jam itself. Take a listen to the album version for all the high notes you never knew Beck could hit.

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Got any lesser-known funk that can fight the hold “Uptown Funk” has on the world? I sure hope I’ve completed my mission and that song is out of yours and Rachel’s brain. If not, I suppose I’ll pack my things and go. Now get to congratulating Rachel on the new position!