Ahoy ahoy, ye almighty tee-vee lovers! This be yer cap’ain speaking, Lutie the Redbeard, helmer of the S.S. TV-Cap on these here Nerdist shores. What’s that, you say? This introduction is terrible and not-all-that piratey? Well that’s just because…well…I don’t know why! It just is, we’ve not really had a lot of time to practice it, alright? JEEZ! It’s not like we’re an impressive actor-comedy type like many of the folks featured in today’s ‘cap. Between the Odenkirk, the Jacobs, and the Key and Peele of it all, we’re chockablock with chuckles. How’s that for service, eh?

Anyway, let’s get on with it. We’ve got a seance to get to (really) and time’s running out.

If Loving Key & Peele is Wrong, We Don’t Ever Want to Be Right: OK, there’s only so much obsessive and hyperbolic business we can manage before it feels like a bit of an overkill, even for us. So instead of flapping our lips like a dog in a high-speed car with its head stuck out the window to really FEEL the world around him, we’ll instead just say this: NEVER CHANGE, KEY & PEELE. Never change. Keep being the gangbuster comedy boyz that you are. [Entertainment Weekly & Entertainment Weekly]

Also this photo is the best:

As is the accompanying video about its creation:

…AAAAAAAND all pales in comparison to the new sketch that was also revealed today. PUPPETS AND PAROLEES!

Get Transparent: We did some interviews with Jeffrey Tambor and Jill Soloway about their new Amazon Prime show, Transparent, and in the name of full disclosure and transparency we’ll admit it: we totally loved them. Check ’em out! [Nerdist & Nerdist]

Syfy Renewals: Defiance and Dominion — do all of their shows start with the letter ‘D’? — have both been renewed and will return to your TV in summer 2015. [Blastr]

Spielberg and TNT, Sittin’ in a Tree: Makin’ Lumen for TV! (That totally worked, right?) The director extraordinaire’s Amblin TV shingle has teamed up with TNT once more to bring us another alternate reality series and no, it’s not Falling Skies the sequel. It involves books! And a travelin’ family. Also James Frey is involved. [TV Guide]

Mrs. S Gets Chatty: Ugh, April 2015 why are you so far away? Life as a fan of BBC America’s Orphan Black can feel excruciating as we all wait between seasons. Thankfully the series knows your ravenous nature and keeps the content coming even in the off-season. Like their regular installments of #AskOB, where Tumblr fans get to ask questions of the stars of the show. This time it’s Maria Doyle Kennedy — a.k.a. Mrs. S — and, well, even if she didn’t mention her love and adoration of Patti Smith we’d still think it was great. But the Patti Smith stuff? Especially great because Patti Smith 4-eva.

The Battlestar Blues: Have you been putting off your fifth binge-watch of Battlestar Galactica? Maybe you never watched it at all, but had been planning to, well-meaning as you are? Well you’ve got ONE WEEK LEFT, you misguided souls, before BSG is taken off the Netflix for-ev-er. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. [The Mary Sue]

Let’s Be Franco: James Franco, doer of all the things, has a new documentary about Saturday Night Live coming out on Hulu on Friday. [Nerdist]

Nina Dobrev’s Getting Original: Listen, The Vampire Diaries and The Originals will always have their crossovers, right? No one is really all that surprised there. But you MAY be surprised to read that it’ll be Nina Dobrev that’s set to head to the series, getting her doppleganger on for the 6,845th time. Approximately. This time it’s a doozy, though: the originator of the Petrova line, Tatia. Oh snap! [TVLine]

Sleepy on the Job: Clarke did a great job breaking down all the Sleepy Hollow characters from season one. Check it out! [Nerdist]

Toe-tally Tim & Eric: And last but certainly not least, take a peek at this super unsettling — would you expect any less? — clip from Tim & Eric’s Bedtime Stories, featuring Gillian Jacobs and Bob Odenkirk. [Entertainment Weekly]

So — are you sick of your toes, too? Let us know in the comments.