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The Porgs Kidnap BB-8 in the Cutest New STAR WARS Video

It’s time to throw some science down. Porgs are the superior cutie in the Star Wars universe, full stop. Forget ewoks, sorry Loth-cats, catch ya later tauntauns—y’all ain’t got nothing on these cuddly little birdies who seem to bring joy (and a bit of danger) wherever they go. This isn’t some sort of “feeling” or “opinion,” it’s simply the cold, hard facts of cuteosity. (I have a PhD in Cuteology.) We don’t make the rules, we just relay them. And we don’t want to hear your anti-porg sentiment.

Not even BB-8 can handle their precious precociousness. Everyone’s favorite bundle of droid parts is so smitten, in fact, he (she? it? they?) even lets the little sweeties kidnap his head in the latest Star Wars Blips animation.

I MEAN JUST LOOK AT THESE LITTLE JOYNUGGETS:

How could you possibly hate or be disgusted by that? How could you feel that these little creatures lessen the Star Wars universe when, it seems, they literally cured Chewie of his post-Han depression? What sort of hateful person are you that you don’t feel even a smidgen of gratitude towards a species of adorable bird/stuffed animal hybrid?

It’s a shame, I tell you. A SHAME! Porg on, porgies. You’re the apple of our collective eye and we’ll defend you to the death!

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Images: Lucasfilm/Disney

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