Whenever a new movie hits theaters across this great land, you can count on two things: I will be in the lobby playing their busted Cruis’n Exotica machine and there will be some truly awful, bafflingly bad tie-in merchandise. At least Atari had the decency to bury their unsold copies of the E.T. video game in a New Mexico landfill. These items, however, were foisted upon an unknowing public, perpetrated and perpetuated by marketing departments and crazed fans with one bottom line: getting your cold, hard cash. Did it work? Probably, but that just means that we have more fuel for the fire on today’s episode of The Dan Cave in which I run down the worst movie tie-in merchandise of all time.

What is your favorite best worst movie tie-in merchandise? Let me know in the comments below.

Hey, want some tie-in merchandise that doesn’t totally suck? Buy an official The Dan Cave t-shirt at the Nerdist Store and pre-order my book, 100 Things Avengers Fans Should Know & Do Before They Die, online at fine retailers like Amazon and Barnes & Noble!

Thanks for tuning in — see you all next time!