You explore a jagged light-filled cave. Penetrating deeper, you enter a small, dark passage. There is a squishing underfoot. Your headlamp darts from the ceiling to the walls. Thick white goo covers everything. A large droplet lands squarely on your shoulder.
You, my friend, have entered the cave of the Spunkelunker.
Spunkelunk
–Verb, to spunkelunk, spunkelunking
1. During fellatio, the act of penetrating the giver’s throat for ejaculatory purposes.
Example: Henry wasn’t sure if it was customary to ask before spunkelunking on the first date.
–Related forms
spunkelunker (n),spunkelunkee (n)
–Origin
Sexuality metaphysicist and educator Sandra Daugherty coined the term in the early part of the 21st century. Legend has it she was parallel parking.
–Origin, expanded
I often analyze sex advice puzzles while driving. Sometimes I even sit in my car afterward and have what NPR calls “Driveway Moments.” “Spunkelunking” popped into my head one night while examining a questionable bit of sex advice for fellatially-procured-wad avoiders. I was in my car.
–Further Context
I’m often asked to dish out advice on blowjobs. One familiar concern is from people who are not so keen on the taste or texture of love flowing eternal. The workaround-in-question goes like this:
“When push comes to shove, invite your phallic friend to the back of your mouth so they can spew forth directly into your throat & stomach.â€
Despite being utterly open-minded, my flawed humanity viscerally upchucks in protest. As a sex educator, advising a hesitant receptacle/human being to allow said-fluid direct stomach access gives me pause.
(***Personal Disclosure: I don’t swallow. I’ve tried. It’s a texture thing. My entire being goes on lockdown. It’s like storming the Alamo. You might get in, but it’s gonna be one hell of a fight.)
For those who gulp with pride, I say “Go get ’em tiger! More power to ya! I got nothin’ but love!†You are bolder than I. However, for those who truly struggle with swallowing, advising a linear oral bypass seems a bit militant.
And this brings me to my point. There are many elements for giving a partner excellent head. Swallowing is but one factor. Much can be said on the topic of fellatio greatness. Perhaps this is a post for another day. For now, I merely share with you my new favorite word.
And yes, Henry, please ask your spunkelunkee before proceeding.
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Hey, LA Nerdsters! Come join me for the July 8th @SexNerdSandra Podcast Live presented by Nerdist @ Meltdown Comics! This week’s topic: G-Spots! Click Here for Tickets and make Friday even more fun!
what Rhacodactylus said
Is there a way to listen in on the podcast or is it only a live show at nerdmelt?
you are awesome Sandra, this cracked me up and informed.
@Rhacodactylus – If I were a caver, I would wear that word with love & dignity… and spunk.
crap, “descent” . . . I have to stop commenting on blogs first thing in the morning.
Just a heads up from a “caver,” 99% of us HATE this word =) So, by all means use it for your sexual escapades, but those guys at the bottom of the decent putting on their dive gear to try to get a bit lower, those guys are cavers.
Damn my hideous visage and hutt-like blubberbutt! I shall never have the opportunity to order this off the menu!
The second I saw the word: spunkelunking, I thought, “Fancy new term for sloppy seconds?” To me, spunkelunking sounds like it would mean: spelunking for spunk. But I prefer Sandra’s definition, as I will have many more opportunities to use the word in that context.
Ummm…What just happened here?
This is now my new favorite word as well. And, as much as I love the yum of swallowing, the definition of spunkelunking kind of makes me not want to lol.