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Episode 40: Sex Nerd Sandra
50 Shades of Cray-Cray

Sex Nerd Sandra #40: 50 Shades of Cray-Cray

EROTICA REVIEW! SIMULTANEOUS ORGASMS! SPANKING! Sandra & Mistress Mary battle it out as they examine the book taking the nation by sexy storm, 50 Shades of Grey. Topics include: BDSM Lifestyle Contracts, Spanking, Harry Potter, Sardonic Plot Synopsis, Submissive Determination, Character Arcs, Hot Sex Scenes and DnD Dominance.


(Special Thanks to the hilarious actress Madison Shepard for coining the phrase, “50 Shades of Cray.”)

Follow @DaveToTheRoss and @SexNerdSandra on Twitter!

And visit Sex Nerd Sandra’s website for more sexy nerdiness!

Special thanks to Carvin for supplying us with the equipment we need to record this podcast! Check out for more information on recording equipment, guitars, amps and more!

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  1. Wurd says:

    The author herself has already come out to say that she feels the book is *not* well written.

    You should not waste your energies being mad at the author. Rather–be made at the sad media machine that randomly hyped the hell out of this book for no apparent reason.

    Furry cows moo and decompress.

  2. Monidra says:

    Whatever you need is okay, and not wanting a copmlete power exchange 24/7 via D/s or M/s relationship is very alright. I find myself to definitely be a dominant type, very much needing to be in charge in the bedroom, making choices that leave us both happy and open to further exploration. Yet I just don’t see myself as a rope mastering, beating and pain inducing, sadistic kinda guy. In charge yes, no question. Taking what I want? I can, and probably will do that. Creating real fear or hurt? No, and I guess I don’t get when people do that. Its counter to the spirit of the universe, IMO.

  3. Ret says:

    This is set in Portland? With no laptop? That is uber fantasy. They literally have non profits that give people computers. So…this sounds like it’s to BDSM what Twilight is to Vampire Romance/Forks, WA.

    Also, “He reaches up and grabs my pigtails…” is now my ringtone.

    Dave, where are you in LA on the weekends? HF is on an unavailable night and it’d be cool to see your standup.

  4. Deborah says:

    Thank you for the mention, Sandra! We loved the podcast, as always. There was cheering in the room when you mentioned “Pitstache”

    Anyone who wants to check us out please go to or watch our Kickstarter video at

  5. Tanya D says:

    In the podcast the topic of the benefit of being submissive comes up as well as the ignorant assuming it means woman are now lacking in confidence.
    If we look at this from a behavioral POV we get an answer: “[I]n any conflict situation there will often be a winner and a loser, [and] a central question arises: Which strategies have evolved to enable the one who is losing to decide when to try harder and when to accept the inevitability of defeat and adjust one’s behavior accordingly?” However, they go on to point out, some people may find a submissive strategy inherently advantageous, and so “Such submissive behavior need not be associated with a lack of confidence.” From Subordination and Defeat, Sloman and Gilbert eds.
    I agree with Mary on the idea that it is ridiculous to believe that being submissive means women are losing all that we have fought for. Being submissive is part of our DNA, part of our evolutionary behavior. And sometimes it just feels good.

  6. Beth Kaelin says:

    I definitely agree with Mistress Mary. Dave’s voice does something to my loins as well. I’ve always been attracted to guys with deep voices, so hearing Dave’s every week makes me happy.

  7. Iain says:

    Women love the deep voices, so sayeth Science. Be proud, Dave. Many guys now now have backing to be jealous of you getting more girls, when really it because you have the funny and congeniality to back it up.

  8. Carl says:

    I found a copy of it thrown to the roadside during my bike commute this morning. Interesting.

  9. Elspeth says:

    I never want to read another book again; I just want Sandra to describe them for me. *Gasp* I just wrote that right before Dave actually said that on the podcast. lol. Another great podcast.

  10. Todd Mason says:

    Come to think of it, there is apparently a small community of “lifestyle” D/s folks who pattern their activity around the poorly-written novels (or tracts) of John Lange, aka “John Norman”…he of the GOR novels. There are extra-literary properties at work in such circumstances, and perhaps for a lot of eager readers of these materials, the lack of literary sophistication is only a plus (ambiguity not always welcome when one is finding an awakening desire…).

    Most amused by complaints about highlighting DR’s voice!

  11. Todd Mason says:

    Well, the novel began as TWILIGHT (sparkly vampire)-inspired fan fiction, so it was originally written as an amateur for funsies exercise…hence the clumsiness.

    Yeah, the guys who lent their names to sex (De Sade, Masoch) were also not too worried about the niceties of literature (and we have to depend on translation). And, meanwhile “Pauline Reage” was actually writing literature with literary values in mind, so STORY OF O and its sequel ultimately have a certain sense of a horror story about them…with actually at least biologically unlikely things happening, and at least slightly squcking vignettes where, for example, a little boy is instructing a little girl that he hopes to do the same sort of things to her that men have done to O, as he checks O out…in part, perhaps, because “Reage” was apparently of two minds about what she was writing about…rather less true of the guys referred to above…

    It is interesting that this has taken off in a way that, say, Cleis Press fiction anthologies haven’t…but, then, at least some somewhat similar materials have been building large audiences, such as the work of Jacqueline Carey…