RECTUMS AND RESOLUTIONS! Delightful author and comedian Sara Benincasa opens up about her butt. TOPICS: Kenny Powers, Special Olympics, Successful Resolution Strategy, Performance Anxiety, Orgasm Alternatives, Relaxing the Vag, Beyonce, Catholicism, Fleshbot Porn Awards, Anal Attitude, The Ol’ College Tries, The Wolf of Wall Street, Girls, Control, Margaret Cho, External Butt Play, and Epiphanies! PLUS Sara’s impressive self-confidence Brainhack.
Sara Benincasa is an award-winning comedian and author of the book “Agorafabulous!: Dispatches From My Bedroom” from William Morrow (a division of HarperCollins), a book based on her critically acclaimed solo show about panic attacks and agoraphobia. Her comedy has won praise from the Chicago Tribune, CNN, The Guardian, and The New York Times, and has earned her an ECNY (Emerging Comedian of New York) Award and a Webby nomination. Her second book, “Great,” a Gatsby-inspired novel about love and scandal among teens in the Hamptons, is due out in April 2014 from HarperTeen. Sara is currently working on her third book, “Believers,” due out from HarperTeen in summer 2015. Inspired by “Lord of the Flies,” it’s about a group of evangelical Christian teen girls from Texas who crash-land on a deserted island.
Follow Sara on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook! Find out more at SaraBenincasa.com.
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I’m shocked how this woman just said she wanted to organize an orgy like I might talk about having a yard sale.
Attractive minds, attractive aspects, and (notable in this context) attractive voices. Lucky you, both of you, and your luckier partners.
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Thanks for the interesting topic. As an older, straight, kinky gentleman with experience in both vaginal and anal sex, toys of all sorts, public play, etc. I feel confident in saying there is nothing to be feared in anal sex. My momma always told me “a little dirt don’t hurt”, and neither does a little poop.
My girlfriend, who is also “older” is embarrassed by both poop and passing gas, but she’s done both in public and private and lived. For her anal sex is more enjoyable, as is the use of a Hitachi Magic Wand.
The Hitachi is a 120v orgasm power tool. It’s not cute per se, but as Mr. Miyagi put it “if do right, no can defense!” She prefers to have me alternate between a glass butt plug and her clitoral piercing (another must have, IMO) and I can get her to routinely orgasm so powerfully she squirts repeatedly. No dick involved.
Also, don’t be afraid of pain. As any experienced pain slut will tell you, a little can go a long way, and you just might like it.
Turns out I’m a dude who thinks a bunch during sex, and as such, it gives me a challenge sometimes achieving orgasm, especially with someone new.
I’ve found that women tend to take this personally, like either they aren’t doing it right or I’m not as attracted to them. I’ve found that there is no correlation – the first 2-3 times, no matter how I came to know the woman, I’m, let’s call it, gun shy.
What I’ve learned, though, is that it’s a matter of trust, and sometimes it’s just active brain, I’m thinking about sex too much or I’m thinking about something too much.
My primary system that I found works to deal with this is to just tell the woman that. Managing her expectations, and making it clear that it’s about me and not about her, seems to help a lot.
As far as overcoming this, besides just staying in a relationship long enough, which always seems to work, is to just not worry about it. Yes, orgasms are important, and I can accomplish them easily enough on my own, so I know all the parts work. But they aren’t the most important part of intimacy, and I haven’t really found it to be a problem unless it’s a one-night stand situation, and I’m not real excited about those anyway.
The few times it’s happened after I’ve been well into the relationship, it’s always that I’m distracted, and I just have needed to recognize that and communicate it. I also am adamant about how much I enjoy giving pleasure; it’s an activity that I gladly do for its own sake – and that seems to be helpful as well.
Finally, one thing that I’ve also noticed that’s helped: if the woman lets me know it’s ok if I don’t orgasm. Possibly not surprisingly, this helps out a huge amount. It might help you, too.
HOORAY FOR BUTT STUFF!! 12 or more times In my humble opinion.