Stephen Colbert said he’s a nice guy, and definitely not a dark wizard, but yet he used the dark arts to help “spoil†some future announcements from J.K. Rowling.
In a segment he called “Harry Potter and the Cauldron of Spoilers,” Colbert, a self-professed “Potthead,†decided to give out some future “spoilers†before the author can. Why did he perform this dastardly magic? He said that with the recent news from Rowling that the “t†in Voldemort is actually silent, she obviously was saying that he, Stephen Colbert, is the Dark Lord himself.
Using a cauldron that looked a lot like a pensieve, Colbert gave out what can only be called shocking secrets from the wizarding world of Harry Potter. How shocking? These are just a few:
- Snape is short for Snapple
- Once Harry Potter got drunk on butterbeer and tried to make out with his own Patronus
- Hermione used the time turner to kill wizard Hitler
- The Daily Prophet was purchased by muggle Rupert Murdoch
Make sure you watch the entire segment to catch the other spoilers, as well as a ton of great Harry Potter references and jokes. Oh, and there is also a cameo from our favorite owl, though only a dark wizard would treat Hedwig that way.
How these revelations will impact next year’s Harry Potter prequel, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, as well as the new play, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, no one knows. My guess is total rewrites will be needed.
Which “spoiler†was your favorite? Cast your ideas in the comments right here.
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HT: EW
Image: CBS
