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New Medication Will Help LOGAN Rise Above His “Old Man Problem”

It’s a problem plenty of older men face… even X-Men with superhuman regenerative healing ability like Logan. As they get up in years they aren’t always capable of getting up for the moment like they used to. It can be an embarrassing circumstance, one that can leave even the strongest of men feeling dull when they need to be at their sharpest.


But the good news is a medical breakthrough is here to help, and that old man issue no longer needs to control your life. No longer must you hide out in the desert commiserating with other elderly men about the good old days of future past. At long last, your ability to kill no longer has to be slowed down by clawrectile dysfunction.

Introducing Clawalis, a new pill that will help you overcome CD, by keeping your Adamantium weapons of death as fully erect as the day they were horrifically fused to your skeleton.

“When the moment strikes, you’ll want to be ready.” Especially if you’re over one hundred years old. Clawalis wants to make sure you’re a Wolverine, not a Wolvercan’t.


Warning: Please consult your Doctor, Hank McCoy, to find out if Clawalis will work for you. Avoid taking Clawalis if you suffer from the legacy virus, and seek immediate medical attention if your berserker rage lasts longer than three hours after taking Clawalis.

Clawalis: because being an old man shouldn’t mean you can’t protect your younger clone from cyborg attacks.

What other problems do you think Old Man Logan might encounter? Consult with our comments section below and tell us what you think.

Images: 20th Century Fox

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