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Predictive Keyboard Writes Insane New HARRY POTTER Chapter with Amazing Results

J.K. Rowling has said there will never be another Harry Potter novel, and while we understand and respect that decision, it turns out if we want to read another one we don’t really need her. Because while we still can’t imagine any other human writing one, we would read an entire series about the Boy Who Lived created by this predictive keyboard, just based on this one hilarious nonsense chapter from Harry Potter and the Portrait of What Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash.

Botnik Studios used Rowling’s seven novels to program their predictive keyboard so it could craft an all new entry into the Harry Potter story. And while it sounds more like a terrible Dumbledore fever dream more than a coherent or logical tale, it definitely has all the elements of a J.K. Rowling story, including “the three amazing friends” Harry, Ron, and the “reasonable” Hermione. There are also Death Eaters (though slightly different than we remember them), and “the very bad and mean wizard” Voldemort.

“Magic: it was something that Harry Potter thought was very good” is my favorite line from any of the novels. No disrespect to Rowling, but that’s the one I’m getting tattooed–twice. Also, someone please start writing Hogwarts fan-fiction about Mr. Staircase, the “shabby-robed ghost” right now. Seriously, right now.

Now are we saying this totally absurd, totally insane, totally illogical chapter, “The Handsome One,” is now canon? Yes, we are actually. Because the world needs more Harry Potter, not less.

And now we absolutely have to find out why Ron is “going to be spiders.” Who could have predicted that twist!

Besides a keyboard.

What was your favorite line here? Share it with us in the comments below.

Images: Warner Bros.

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