Now, we’d never expect a series as wild and crazy as Game of Thrones to ever let a spoiler slip in a silly little promotional photo. They’re on HBO, after all, the veritable kings of keeping things on lock. Still, the vagueness of these photos from Sunday night’s new episode, “Breaker of Chains,” are working on some Matthew Weiner, Mad Men-level tip, because there is pretty much nothing that can be discerned from them (so there’s no way you can cheat, fantasy fantasy league participants). Except one thing, of course: Everybody seems to be looking at something. And we’re dying to know what those somethings are!
Given that we’re impatient, there seems to be only one route to go: that of the wild speculation game. I mean, that’s what they want us to do, right? Why else send out these photos of people looking hither and thither, right? So, similarly to our last photo-heavy GoT post, we’re going to make some stuff up.
Think you can do better? Let us have it in the comments. A real, live thumbs-up is on the table for the best one.
I thought Pod’s claim to fame was size, not skill.
The Wildlings realized their mother wasn’t there and started running with scissors.
Margery is staring a new clothing device that the women have never worn and wondered what a bra is for.
Podrick Payne is staring at the gold is he receiving for being a new whore trainer.
Dany is looking to ground, regretting her decision to wear contact lenses that day.
Arya is staring at the water thinking that she should have married Jaffery and poisoned him at the reception.
I thing the stark girl put poison in jeffies cup when she reached unde the table to hanh it to the mig. sorry short people I cant spell
I think the poison that killed Joffrey is the wine in the cake. Whoever did the make-up on him did a good job at making him look like a stiff animal, like some kind of dog, cat, or wolf staring into his future. Maybe he’ll come back as a animal.
thank you Mark Luster for making me giggle at 6am!
“”Are you there, God? It’s me, Arya.”
That one made me giggle.
Margaery is staring at her future self and being thankful her brother is gay. Podrick is staring at a job application to become a man-whore and wondering if the typical client would look as nice as his previous encounter. And it’s none of your business what the Wildlings are staring at. THEY’RE FREE and can stare at anything they like whenever they like!
It’s gotta be boobs or dragons.
“Hobbits!” the Wildling cried, and the hunt was on.
Margaery gazed at Joffrey’s corpse. “How ironic,” she thought. “This is the only time I’ve seen him stiff.”
So that’s how it is, Podrick realised. The only man in Westeros who can please a whore, and Lord Tyrion doesn’t give me the gold. Typical.
Dany looked at the naked corpse at her feet and thought, Damn, maybe we should have spared that one for a day or two.
“So,” Shireen mused as the door creaked open, “now she will make me a woman…”
“”Are you there, God? It’s me, Arya.”
Hmm…what about..
Wildlings staring at all the windmills they can misinterpret for castles compared to their huts living north of the Wall.
Margaery literally staring at her next goblet of wine to drink to become a Cersei.
Podrick staring at Tywin scarfing down a meal in front of him while thinking about Tyrion.
Dany staring into the dirt wondering when her next bath will be.
Shireen staring at her father while trying to read books written in Valyrian about Targayen incestuous relationships throughout the years.
Arya staring at Gendry’s rippling muscles when she finds him again
I totally thought there was going to be a dead body in the wedding pie. Because it’s Game of Thrones and now my imagination is as sick as George R. R. Martin’s.
Countdown to SJW complaint about the word “whores” in 3… 2…