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New ‘Comment Assistant’ Machine Argues on the Internet for You

Tired of sane, rational debates that involve listening, empathy, and a mutual desire for finding out the truth rather than simply who’s right and who’s wrong? Want to just let loose, and blurt out poorly researched opinions aimed at making people feel stupid for no good, constructive reason at all? Then you should try arguing endlessly with faceless strangers in internet comments sections with the help of the newly advertised Comment Assistant!

The Comment Assistantâ„¢, featured in the above video, is Swedish inventor Simone Giertz’s latest “shitty robot,” and even though most of her other machines don’t quite deliver the results you’d expect, this one fulfills its purpose perfectly.

According to Giertz’s description, the Comment Assistant will “fight your internet battles for you,” providing such eloquently logical arguments as, “DFGJKNABEHOÖägk’Ã¥D^KFIÃ¥l’kuähiostö…” Really though, who can argue with that? Everyone, of course! And they will—probably while simultaneously proving Godwin’s law. But you won’t have to worry about that because the Comment Assistant will argue back for you.

And, if you’re dazzled by the Comment Assistant, and want a whole suite of Giertz’s machines to help you with all of those pesky day-to-day chores like waking up, eating breakfast, and brushing your teeth, you can check out her other “products” here. Seriously though, the Breakfast Machine is pure engineering genius:

What do you think about Simone Giertz’s Comment Assistant machine? Is it a huge step up in qualitative input on the internet, or just adfa8234io2h34df&&vlepson? Let us know your 348h+0dfflurpblorp in the (very sane and reasonable) comments section below!

Images: Simone Giertz

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