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New Bioshock Infinite Gameplay Trailer Doesn’t Change the Fact That It Won’t Be Released For Two Years

What do you mean you can

Holy Pinkerton agent on a zipline! Did you guys get a chance to see the new hands off gameplay trailer for Bioshock Infinite? IT IS INCREDIBLE. Seriously, the new Bioshock air city is just gorgeous, but we knew that already didn’t we? I honestly didn’t think anything could make me want to play this game more than the original trailer but seeing a man’s hand turn into a winch that hooks onto a steampunky air rail thing which sends him careening around a cloud city makes me all itchy in my plasmid hand. Unfortunately, I will need to pop some Benadryl to hold back the swarm of bees that is my excitement because the game still isn’t coming out until 2012. MATH TELLS ME THAT IS TWO YEARS FROM NOW. Arrgh.

Watch the video after the jump!

You know what I think? I think Irrational Games is playing a pretty dangerous waiting game. The possibility of a real life anti-communism propaganda machine/jingoist World’s Fair airship city/weapon of mass destruction in the sky is not totally improbable. I mean, a lot can happen in two years. For instance, two years ago I didn’t own a car and NOW I DO. Two years ago, I still had a youthful vigor and a pleasantly cheerful demeanor and NOW I DON’T. Two years ago, I didn’t have this strange mole on my shoulder and NOW I DO.

Anyway. I wonder if when Bioshock Infinite is finally released in 2012 and downloaded to my retinas (iBallsâ„¢), will I be the only citizen of Airship Googlelandia to glance up from (or over or inside or whatever) their Steve Jobs’ Daily Newspod and pay attention? Probably. Because with the advent of the 2012 Invisible Prius Personal Helicopterâ„¢, NO ONE WILL CARE ANYMORE ABOUT THIS SILLY LITTLE GAME.

Image: 2K Games

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  1. Robyn says:

    Awesome write up for an awesome eventual game. Maybe it’s Infinite because it’s going to take so damn long to be released. Less Pretty trailers, more actual game pls k tnx.

  2. Big_Al says:

    I’ve heard according to a couple of sources it is all in engine.

  3. Deltus says:

    I wonder how much of that was generated by their actual game engine, and how much was added on fakery? Still, looks to be badass.

  4. Geoff says:

    I know most AAA games take years to make, but Irrational has already been working on this for 2 years and it’s not technically all that different from the original game. They should be able to get this done by holiday 2011.

  5. MAXimiliano says:

    I hope that the 2 year wait is just a hilarious joke cause that game looks ready right now. I know that they probably still have to do additional work but on a product that looks that well polished and will be great to play (I mean come on, who hasn’t played Bioshock and not enjoy it?). Why couldn’t they have waited until they were closer to finishing it off before they play this waiting game with us. Damn yous Irrational Games, damn yous!




  7. DefconDan says:

    Ok obviously its still a trailer no matter what we want to think about it being actual gameplay but there’s some serious awesomeness potential to be had here. I LOVED the first Bioshock and if they can keep a good narrative thread going like they did in this trailer… could be…. awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwweesommmmmmmmmmmmmme.

    @ Gabriel True True but its STORY and the SCENES that can be encountered in a game that separates Half-Lifes from Quakes.

    @ Kiala and in 2 years I’ll probably be just as chubby, just as hung, and all your Nerdist people will be just as funny… ‘cept we’ll be playing this instead of riffin’ about it.

  8. Gabriel says:

    Maybe in two years they can bring the gameplay and AI up to modern standard. The bioshock games looked great and had an amazing script, but it’s Quake 1 gameplay. Kill a monster, get the key, kill some more, get another key. The gameplay is like foreplay. It’s the work you do to get to the good bits.

  9. Brian says:

    A) Hilarious write up.
    B) Holy shit.