Would you trust a computer to woo the person of your dreams on your behalf? Even the most advanced computers aren’t quite able to pull off a Cyrano de Bergerac while making you look good for the object of your affection. But that doesn’t mean that computers can’t make us laugh with their strange ideas about love. Research scientist Janelle Shane recently released the results she received after she trained a neural network to write candy heart messages for Valentine’s Day. And while some of the network’s candy heart messages aren’t bad, there are a few that were masterpieces of unintended comedy.

I trained a neural network to generate new candy heart messages – some more successful than others. https://t.co/tPZyGV3upg pic.twitter.com/9J8HjiMshV

— Janelle Shane (@JanelleCShane) February 9, 2018

We came across Shane’s work via Inverse, and she expanded on her findings at her official site. The more acceptable messages included “Dear Me, My My, Love Bot, Cute Kiss, My Bear, and Love Bun.” When we reached out to Shane, she told us that her favorite was “‘All Hover,’ because that sounds like it’s straight out of Welcome to Night Vale. Either that or the one that just said ‘Hole.'”

Things got a little weirder with “Time Hug,” “Pin a Face,” “You’re Me,” “All Hover,” and “Bear Wig.” Then there were the more insulting messages: “U Hack,” “You Are Bag,” “Sweat Poo,” “Stank Love,” “Look Big,” and “Chert Face.” We’re not even sure what “Chert Face” means, but it doesn’t sound good.

On her site, Shane indicated that the neural network also created more “suggestive” messages that “thought of some nice new four-letter words to use.” While Shane declined to post those messages, she did offer to send the non-PG candy hearts to anyone who fills out this form. She was also kind enough to share a few with us as well.

What did you think about the neural network’s candy heart messages? Reply in your own candy heart messages in the comment section below!

Image: Warner Bros. Pictures

All you need is love stories.

• Enjoy nerdy Valentine’s Day cards featuring Ian Malcolm, Kylo Ren and more.
• In lieu of candy, bouquets of plush toys are in.
• If they give you bacon roses, they are the one.