For over 40 years, the morally lax teenagers and dumb police officers of the horror movie world have been menaced by masked psychopaths with large, sharp implements. Usually in an Agatha Christie-ish, one-by-one fashion until all that’s left is a single, smart young woman (and maybe a couple of her friends) charged with putting a stop to the madness once and for all.
Slasher movies garner most of their scares from having these hulking, usually silent killing machines stalk and surprise at intervals. (We’re obviously not talking about Freddy Krueger here, though. That dude is incredibly verbose.) But if the rest of the pack could talk, would they truly be scary? More to the point, if they have ridiculous voices, would they do anything but make you laugh?
In our latest Nerdist Presents, we’re showing you “Slashers with Silly Voices,” a collection of some of the best moments in movies like Halloween, Friday the 13th, and Scream, in which, instead of being quiet and menacing, these killers tell you exactly what they’re thinking. And most of the time what they’re thinking is very, very stupid.
Serial killers, huh? If they’re not bothering you with their desire to get a jacket out of the closet or maintaining their name isn’t a name you keep calling them, they’re flatly lying to you about whether or not they’re going to kill you. I mean, they’re really the worst.
Let us know your favorite slashers–and what they might be thinking–in the comments below!
Kyle Anderson is the Associate Editor for Nerdist and the host of the horror documentary series One Good Scare. You can find his film and TV reviews here. Follow him on Twitter!
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