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(listen as you read)

You’re a scientist walking down the long, sterile corridor towards your laboratory. Inside, an experiment that has stolen weeks of sleep went terribly wrong. Ignorant to the complications, you enter the lab as you always do, without knowing that it will be the last time. The animals you practice on have mutated into creatures that feed on the flesh of nerds (which obviously you are, since you’re a scientist.)

But maybe biology was never your strong suit. Maybe robotics was more your speed. Instead of a rabid monkey-pig hybrid dismembering your limbs one by one until you’re left a mere stump on the once clean floor, perhaps your old and forgotten project, the frog-dog, made of stainless steel, titanium, and a (gasp) Windows operating system recently infected with a virus that only recharges itself on the very same nerd-flesh! THE HORROR!

OR… maybe you’re an astronaut on a deep space mission to planet Meltdown, where you plan on studying the indigenous moose-carrot. The moose-carrot, naturally afraid of your clear superiority in the fields of biology and robotics, realizes it’s unable to outwit nerds. Therefore, the moose-carrot (Moooses carrotus) uses its venomous teeth (it’s also a vampire) and fantastic vision (ample amounts of vitamin a from the carrots) to, again, rip you to pieces.

No matter what the scenario, I’ve obviously been watching too many stupid Halloween specials. But the fact remains that Dawn Golden and Rosy Cross’ remixed version of Major Lazer’s “Original Dawn” gave me goosebumps and could have easily scored any or all of those definitely feasible situations. Not to mention, it totally jives with Nerdist’s new, snazzy-futuristic vibe.

Take a deep breath and power through the slightly monotonous intro. In good techno, timing and attention-span should be perfectly proportional. This remix fits the bill. Major Lazer (aka Diplo and Switch) twisted the sound to uncharted places (hopefully planet Meltdown) whenever you feel the slightest bit bored. But as much as I love the original, this remix caught my attention during an unexpected face-melting guitar solo as well as the spoooookey piano outro. Golden and Cross force the listener along on this journey in a pleasantly unapologetic way, leaving me satisfied and slightly nervous. Also, i hear moose-vampire-carrots hate techno, so, really, it’s just a safety precaution.

Happy Halloween Everyone!

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