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Make Salads Worse With Pizza-Flavored Salad Dressing

If you made a list of what you didn’t know was missing from your life and like it that way, this might be at the top: pizza flavored salad dressing. The product was designed to get kids to eat more salad, but sounds about as appetizing as Bacon Toothpaste.

Chef Kidd’s “Funagrette” (sounds a little too close to “fun” “regret”) is a line of salad dressings that are supposed to jazz up vegetables for kids. NPR’s humorists from Wait, Wait…Don’t Tell Me! took up the challenge and taste-tasted the Cheesy Pizza salad dressing for themselves. They posted the results on NPR’s The Salt and here are the highlights:

Miles: This product is under the false impression that what kids hate most about salad is the dressing, when in fact what kids hate most about salad is salad.

Ian: As a salad dressing, it’s gross. As a proof of concept for intravenous pizza, it’s promising.

Peter: This isn’t a way to get kids to like salad. It’s a way to get them to hate pizza.

Why stop there? Chef Kidd’s has pushed the envelope and our digestive tracks by putting out 5 other flavors, just as uncomfortable as the next. In addition to the Cheesy Pizza flavored dressing there’s a seemingly tame Honey Berry. Hm, so far so odd. The next flavor up to bat is Cocoa Berry, which just seems…no. Things start to go south quickly with the reveal of a fourth flavor called Lime Rickey. Then the final blow comes, a PB&J flavored salad dressing, because if it’s good on bread it’s good on lettuce? Please, someone think of the children.

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