The iPhone 7 may already be the most infamous one Apple has ever created—largely due to the fact that it did away with the longtime standard 3.5mm headphone jack in favor of Apple’s own proprietary Lightning jack. Apple said it took “courage” to axe the aux cord, and the windfall from that drew a myriad of reactions, including a sketch from Stephen Colbert.

Still, it is possible to use the headphones you already own and love with an adapter, but according to this totally truthful (*wink*) sketch, the iPhone 7 already has a 3.5mm port—you just have to do some literal digging to find it. Here’s what you do: Put your brand new phone in a vice, let your touch screen begin to behave erratically, take a power drill, and just bore a hole right in the bottom of the device. Then you can plug in your own headphones and jam out to some royalty-free trance music!

We think we’ve been pretty clear about this so far, but let us reiterate in case you didn’t catch it the first couple times we said it: Please don’t actually try this and say “Nerdist told me to do it” when you’re left with a broken iPhone 7. We can say with 1,000% certainty that this will not improve your device in any way, unless you prefer your phone non-functional.

Despite the backlash, not all the changes coming to the iPhone 7 are bad: It now takes advantage of a dual-lens camera setup, and it looks like wireless charging will be a possibility as well. Put the drill down, and check out what the new iPhone has to offer.

Featured image: TechRax/YouTube