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Like “The Hangover Part 2” Meets “Beaches” With A Touch Of “Bourne Identity”

Hawkman (for those not in the know, read this) is apparently going into development. The legit log-line for this film notes it as a combination of Indiana Jones, The Da Vinci Code, and Ghost.

All right, we’ll go ahead and say it: not only is that complete and utter garbage, but it may be the most hysterical log line of all-time. We were sitting in a bar before the Kentucky Derby two years ago and heard a guy tell an arriving girl that the script he had just finished was “Wolverine” meets Fast Times at Ridgemont High.” Until now, that was the funniest we’d ever heard.

Two questions, dear reader:

(1) Is there any hope whatsoever for this film?
(2) What’s the best log line you’ve ever heard/created in your mind?


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  1. Ryan says:

    Okay okay okay, I finally got one.
    Avatar: The Last Airbender; it’s like “A Never-ending Story” meets,
    “The Justice League”.

  2. AB says:

    It’s called: “Wanks For The Memories” and its like “Benson” meets “Spanking the Monkey”

  3. Nic says:

    It’s like Loveboat, but for real and we’ll call it Shipmates!

  4. alan says:


  5. Loren says:

    “Reminds of this video, A Toast to Green Lantern, which is really all about the sadness of Hawkman.”

  6. Jim says:

    Hanna Barbara Presents Hawkman: Janitor of the League.

    Will Hawkman be able to clean this mess

  7. Neil says:

    Its like “Heavenly Kid” meets “Stepfather”

  8. Doug Frye says:

    They are missing the most obvious tagline with a Hawkman movie: “Braveheart but with wings.”

  9. Nick says:

    When someone asked me to describe Misfits I told them it was an amalgamation of Heroes, Community, and Oz.

  10. enigmahfc says:

    “It’s like Sofie’s Choice meets The Fast and The Furious: Tokyo Drift.”
    No lie, I would watch that.

  11. Michael Painter says:

    Ted, you obviously have never read a Hawkman comic. This is sadly how convoluted the character is.

  12. BK says:

    ‘Rudy’ meets ‘Faces of Death’

  13. Lee says:

    It’s ‘Look Who’s Talking’ meets ‘Silence of the Lambs’ with Patrick Swayze CGI’d in as the lead Also in eye popping 3D

  14. BK says:

    It’s like ‘The Neverending Story’ meets ‘Debbie Does Dallas’.

  15. Casey says:

    It’s like “Schindler’s List” meets “Dude, Where’s My Car?” with Muppets. In 3D!

  16. Michael B. says:

    It’s like Escape from L.A. meets Driving Ms. Daisy with a touch of Superman 4.

  17. Tom says:

    It’s like Caligula meets Baby Geniuses!

  18. MattBlackwood says:

    I wrote a graphic novel about Golden Age superheroes coming out of retirement with the log line “The Incredibles meets Space Cowboys; like Grumpy Old Watchmen”.

  19. Jad Bean says:

    It’s called “Sleepin’ It Real” and it’s like “Inception” meets “Wild Hogs” meets “Sophie’s Choice”!

  20. Tim says:

    My Diner with Andre meets the Toxic Avenger?
    Howard End meets I Spit on your Grave?

  21. Dan Peck says:

    why was the guy who wrote X-Men: First Class at the Kentucky Derby?

  22. Barry says:

    Howard the duck meets Braveheart with the wittiness of Bride Wars

  23. Joe says:

    “It’s kinda a 60s free flowing kind of film. It’s called Secret Pirate Ninja Assassins…in the Desert. And they’re hallucinating.”


  24. Tony says:

    It’s like “Kindergarten Cop” meets “Dangerous Liaisons” meets “Human Centipede”!!!!!

  25. Chris says:

    We’ll have to see. I was always partial to Marvel myself, but I thought Smallville was pretty good.

    I’ve thought up some good log lines over the years, but I never write them down.

    * Blue Velvet meets Van Wilder
    * If Michael Bay directed Capitalism: A Love Story
    * A cross between Heathers and Out of Africa with a touch of the Three Stooges short, Hoi Polloi

  26. Kev Weldon says:

    “The Sixth Day” – It’s like “Big Business” meets “The Running Man”.

  27. Wyatt says:

    Hope? HOPE???… Maybe, as long as they can get Whoopi.

  28. Tyler says:

    Reminds of this video, A Toast to Green Lantern, which is really all about the sadness of Hawkman.

  29. Reilly says:

    This movie DOES have hope, if they build the DC universe before making this film. The Flash/Bradley Cooper project I’ve heard about, a Wonder Woman movie, Zack Snyder’s Man Of Steel, and MAYBE an Aquaman film.

  30. Jesse G says:

    I wonder if it’ll also include an earth-tones S&M-with-feathers costume like the design in the comics.

  31. Scott says:

    As hysterical as it may be, those three movies pretty much cover Hawkman’s convoluted origin story. Here’s hoping it turns out half-decent!