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Laser Beamz


Is that laser wearing a monocle?

Let it be known, the Empire is not welcomed on Earth and the US Navy is prepared to defend it. Late last week the Navy successfully tested a laser. I’m not talking about the pointing kind, folks. I’m talking about an honest to goodness, or potentially badness, gun kind.

Badass scientists used a high-energy laser (HAL) to set the engines of a target test-ship on fire. This marks the first time anyone has done so on a moving vessel at sea. Blasting the laser through the moist air proved difficult in the past. Yet, in typical American fashion we said, “Nuh-uh. Ain’t no stupid humidity gonna stop me from blowing shit up.”

Way to go, America. Let’s not get carried away and make the Death Star now.

Image: US Navy

via BBC News

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  1. Joey H says:


  2. Zak R. says:

    I like the Freudian (Clarke-ian?) slip by mis-acronymizing the name as HAL instead of HEL. Anyway, about the laser: IT”S ABOUT FREAKIN’ TIME!

  3. Maggie says:

    “What do you think a secret phase conjugate tracking system is for, Kent?” The world could use a ship-load of popcorn right now…

  4. Russell W says:

    Put that shit on a satellite and fry Qadaffi!

  5. Chris says:

    Did popcorn erupt from the ship when it caught on fire? I can only hope.

  6. DefconDan says:

    Phew Phew indeed…

  7. Three Toes of Fury says:

    I have one simple request. Frickin Sharks with Frickin Laser beam’s attached to them. Well…that…or perhaps ill tempered Sea Bass.

    Now that the Navy’s got this laser stuff figured out, they can get back to figuring out the following:

    – Transparent aluminum for the nuclear wessels at alameeda.
    – one-ping-verifying technology that doesnt give away position….one ping only.
    – how to transmit a tasty sandwhich thru time…aka The Philadelphia Cheesesteak Experiement.
    – How the hell Indy survived the ride holding onto the Sub periscope and/or why the sub never dove.
    – Specifics of my mission to proceed up the Nung River in a navy patrol boat, find the Colonel and terminate his command…with extreme prejudice.
    – The exact contents of Bat Shark Repellant.

    Peace .n. In The Navy,