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“It’s Thanksgiving”: Worst Holiday Ever

It was roughly a year and a half ago when I ruined your day and most of my credibility as a human when I first dropped the Rebecca Black Bomb on Nerdist. And now, right before what used to be my favorite holiday (the closest Jews actually get to Christmas because Hannukah totally sucks), I bear the horrible, horrible responsibility of posting this fucking awful Thanksgiving song that you are 100-percent going to hate. I thought about posting it earlier this week, but I let it simmer in my sub-conscience long enough for me to use words, because most of my initial reactions were loud guttural noises and crying. I would apologize, but that’s not going to bring back the three minutes and thirty eight seconds of your life.

The scariest thing about “It’s Thanksgiving” is its mashup potential with “Friday.” When it comes out, it will be called “Black Friday” and the Rebecca Black/Nicole Westbrook collaboration will technically qualify as cyber-warfare. I understand they are children. I do. Treatises will (maybe) be written in their defense. But let it be known that I stand on the sane side of history and that this aggression will not stand, man.

Final Warning: one of the nicer YouTube comments is “There is No God.” Happy Holidays!

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  1. Kelsie Stefl says:

    I’m curious to find out what blog system you have been working with? I’m experiencing some minor security issues with my latest blog and I would like to find something more safeguarded. Do you have any recommendations?

  2. Gaby A. says:

    Amateurs! Pffft…if you made it to 2:29, you would have seen true genius and exquisite lyrics.

  3. Shawnemac says:

    I dare anyone to pause it at either the 3:10 or 3:12 mark…

  4. Scott says:

    I watched this before readings about it. I thought, “Ok, this has to be funny or cool. It is on” And then I watched the video. I am now dumber for having watched it. My two year old watched about 5 seconds told me “NO!” and then ran from the room. He obviously got his smarts from his mom.

  5. Andrew says:

    I didn’t read the post before I played the video from the nerdist frontpage. That sure was a hilariously overextended intro, I thought. Then they list all the other major holidays which I thought was humorously absurd. Then, I was briefly confused. About a minute and a half in, I realized that there was no actual joke coming. No joke. No joke at all. This was for reals.

    This almost made me sad inside, but I just can’t bring myself to care enough to feel anything about this at all.

    Thanks for the holiday memories, Matt! : )

  6. Joey says:

    It’s 9 in the morning, and I sent a link to the video to my boyfriend without explaining what it was. I’m really hoping to get him with this one. WHY WAS HE DRESSED LIKE A TURKEY?

  7. Alex says:

    Rob, thank you so much. I was literally sitting here for 5 minutes feeling like my skin was about to crawl off and my spine was going to run away. That video actually helped.

    Thank you

  8. Bob says:

    HURRAY!!! Finally a legitimate Thanksgiving festive pop song, sung by a child demanding to be famous. Thanks a funking lot. *Sighs* Retires to the den, with a bottle of whiskey. I’m just gonna go a do something stupid to try and forget…

  9. xero says:

    “Megan on November 14, 2012 at 4:37 pm said:
    I’m convinced it’s just a business – rich parents pay this guy for a package deal to write a song and make a music video for their daughter as a birthday gift.”

    More or less yes parents pay 5 grand to get a professional recording and video and the label keeps the rights to the song (it’s all on the companies wiki page)

  10. Wayne says:

    Patrice Wilson is the real musiccrime here…

  11. Nicholas says:

    It has been a while since my ears were graced with a “song” as obnoxious and awful as this.

    Congratulations on being untalented.

    This deserves a frowning smiley if anything does.


  12. Ethan says:

    Well, I finshed it.Im thankful for that small mercy at least. I am curious about the pedophile in the turkey suit being the only adult on the premises though…..Fuck it, lets just sing into a drumstick and rap some more…

  13. Megan says:

    On further research this is indeed the same producer as Friday, and of his 28 videos most are different 13-year-old girls singing different songs. I’m convinced it’s just a business – rich parents pay this guy for a package deal to write a song and make a music video for their daughter as a birthday gift. I know what I’m putting on my Christmas list.

  14. Atticus says:

    No. My eyes are bleeding. Everything hurts. Fuck. Why?

    *passes out*
    *shits pants*

  15. Megan says:

    Are we sure this isn’t really clever satire? Y’all should really watch it all the way through, otherwise you’ll miss the RAP and the moment she sings into a turkey leg like it’s a microphone.

  16. Tarthus says:

    I made it to 2:20. Beat that.

  17. toonsmyth says:

    YouTube has been promoting this god-awfulness on Facebook as well. You guys are going to promote the hate so much that everyone will think it’s a viral hit, and she’ll become the next Carly Rae whatserface. STOP PROMOTING IT and maybe it will go away!

  18. Lucy says:

    Matt, I made it to 1:51. Why do you hate me?

  19. Matt Ayers says:

    I could not look away. I assume this how the people of Hiroshima felt seing the flash and cloud rise just before the wave front of burning hell burned their shadows into the walls.

  20. Chris says:

    I wish weird and terrible violence on you.

  21. Wyntah says:

    Oh God Matt. May you live in a Hell with a continuous loop of It’s Friday and this atrocity of a song along with the aforementioned mash-up.