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Hey, Bing! Shut Up.

Maybe I wouldn’t be as irritated if it were one or the other, but lately on both television and the internet, I can’t escape this Bing ad:


Now, given the fact that I’ve been utterly burned out on Facebook for at least a year and a half, this ad doesn’t particularly speak to me anyway. But any hope it had of luring me in with social media convenience flew right out the window with homeboy’s little snarky line about stopping “me” from admitting to owning an action figure collection.

You know, I know there are certain sociological trends to indicate the whole “geeks have inherited the earth” phenomenon, and certainly we get treated like a valuable commodity by marketing suits in many ways we didn’t before. But then I see an ad like this and think, hmm… nope, we’re not quite there yet. Not “world domination” level, at least. And maybe that’s for the best, because it reinforces our sense of community. A community that can still collectively roll our eyes at an ad which is mildly annoying for its disdain for our nerdy proclivites, yet is particularly annoying in that it has no concept of the fact that we might not be interested in anyone who found our action figure collection to be an embarrassment in the first place!

In conclusion: I’d like to present Bing with the universally recognized symbol for “Live Long and Fuck Off”:


And as a grace note, I’d like to show any and all available nerd fellas out there my BSG Minimates collection:
*throws down mic* *kicks over amp* *struts off stage*

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  1. Putchka says:

    Bing is just a garbage search engine, there are things wrong with it on just so many levels. Sites that Google has hashed out years ago for thin quality and bad links, still rank high on Bing, giving people bad UX. I wrote a whole post about it,

  2. Molly says:

    I’ve never been to any place that “made fun of me” for not using chopsticks. Like, nobody pointed and laughed and called me names and gave me a wedgie. But some places do condescendingly ask all the white people if they want forks.

    And I’ve been to Umi Sake House. Their painted tart waitresses DO offer all the white people forks, and they DO stare at you condescendingly if you mix wasabi into the soy sauce
    Lies, Bing, LIES!!

  3. Ben says:

    Yes this was kind of mentioned above but the most utterly infuriating thing about this commercial is irony of this particular guy scoffing at an action figure collection. He is scrawny, nerdy looking and throws a kick that makes him look like he takes karate with the under 10 set. He then goes on to state, without embarrassment, that he can’t use chopsticks.
    Unless the minds behind this ad are making some joke I fail to catch then this ad has some pretty glaring mistakes.

  4. Julie says:

    Iron Man is sitting on my desk at work with his repulsors aimed at Bing.

  5. Luanne says:

    EVERY Bing commercial sucks! I refuse to use it on principle just because the ads are so fucking annoying. Someone says a word, other person goes into a freaky-ass trance while vomiting information… ugh, so unsettling.
    My X-Files acton figures say go to hell, Bing!

  6. Henrik says:


    That actually isn’t how Bing works. It crawls the web like most search engines. You are probably referring to the accusations made by Google a while back which made for some excitingly misleading headlines and got Matt Cutts’ underwear all in a bunch but which ultimately turned out to be completely uninteresting.

    For those who have no idea what I’m on about I provide a link!

  7. K2TheM says:

    I must be one of the few that likes Bing. Yeah they peeped Google for a bit, and their results are sometimes hit and miss, but I like it. The daily picture is a cool feature, and I like their UI better than Googles.

    Also, this ad was not meant for you.

  8. RyanZ says:

    Wholeheartedly agree, with the article, love the “Live Long and Fuck You” sign (hope don’t mind if i borrow in my life), and as for minimates, awesome, home made stand? I’m a huge collector of them as well, but stick mainly to super hero style Marvel and DC, but have been known to dabble elsewhere. But with over 150 and growing, I’m gonna need a bigger case. Fuuuuuuuuuuck U, Bing!

  9. will says:

    Yeah I agree, this commercial pisses me off because for one Im a huge action figure nerd and have several hundreds of dollars in action figures and statues and the other thing that really pisses me off is the guy who says to basically be ashamed of your action figure collection is a totaly poser. I am also a MMA/traditional martial arts nerd and seeing him throw that side kick that doesnt go past his waste. On top of that hes wearing a purple belt and holding a trophy, Id be more ashamed to have thrown that horrible shitty ass kick and be wearing that purple belt than any friend that has an action figure collection. Id like to kick that guy straight in the chest and then post my whole collection of action figures 🙂 You can see my figures at my flickr, that was my plug thx.

  10. The only good thing about those commercials is the Chromeo song playing in the background.

  11. Thank the gods someone said it! Yes that Bing ad sucks. You are so spot on. And I love that you kicked over the amp before you left

  12. Evan says:

    I trust that collection is under lock and key, because I would so steal that from you and make it all mine. Okay, not really. But I’d love to admire it more closely. 🙂

  13. Julie says:

    My favourite part of this whole article is that it took no effort whatsoever to actually picture you dropping a mic indignantly, kicking over and amp and strutting away.
    Rock on, sister-geek!

  14. Bob says:

    Sweet mini-mates. Fuck Bing.

  15. Rory says:

    Ad Block Plus will take care of your problem from seeing this on the internets.

  16. Curt says:

    Niiiice collection Nicole. And seriously, fuck Bing.

  17. Steven Arellano says:

    I am glad to see that I am not the only one that utterly hates that ad. And @Nicole I am glad to see you are not ashamed to let your GEEK flag fly! The geeks have indeed inherited the earth and the lion will lie down with the muffit.

  18. Jim says:

    I just find it hilarious that Bing works by searching Google in the first place. Also, love the BSG collection. I have a weakness for Japanese blind box toys myself.

  19. Adrianne says:

    I totally agree with you sista-nerd! And Bing sucks ass in general, anyway, so we get the last laugh.

  20. Wesley Marshall says:

    @Nicole I’m currently giving you a digital hug for your awesomeness. Fuck you bing! #NERDSUNITE