Well, he doesn’t call himself the God of Tits and Wine for nothin’, now does he? Nor should he be considered anything less because dagnabbit that Tyrion Lannister on Game of Thrones sure does love to get wasted. Downright drunk as a skunk that one loves to be, doesn’t he? In fact we’d consider him a professional for the cause. And thanks to the hilariously clever folks over at Vulture, you can play along at home without pushing your blood-alcohol levels to previously unknown (and terribly perilous) new heights. It’s the Get Tyrion Drunk video game. Hip, hip, HICCUP!
The website’s old-school video game (a style of which we just cannot get enough), allows you to help keep the littlest Lannister well in his cups. But it’s not as easy as just throwin’ that sweet, fermented grape juice back: it just so happens (probably because of Cersei because who else would be so maniacal?) that he’s boozing it up in a room occupied by a bevy of raining swords. Woops.
How the game works is fairly simple: By using the arrow keys on your laptop (or your touch screen if you’re permanently attached to your phone), the task is to move our pimp the Imp into positions that will land him as many goblets as he can muster. Those are worth 100 points. There are also fancy golden chalices (that we kept missing, ugh) that are worth 1,000 points each — so you definitely want to nab a few of those. Just don’t get killed by falling swords.
In the end our best score was a relatively measly 1900 (and it only got worse from there. We are admittedly pretty terrible at games):
Think you can beat us? Let’s all share our scores (after you play the game) in the comments.
13000
I got 16000 ah, this game is great 🙂
225,000 Got kinda bored to keep going lol.
12,700
i got 1337!! i’m so cool, like.
22500
17400 lame..i get lag though or maybe its because hes drunk
The experience would be greatly improved if he got progressively more drunk and harder to control as the game went on.
17200
It’s not that hard. Just don’t go for everything.
13500
23,700.
33,500! Super wasted
24400 Second time. 3000 first time. Lots of fun!
Second try: 24,500. This is almost as good as the Rob Ford game.
i got 12100
23300; too addictive
I got 11500. How on earth did you only get 1900? Haha. Poor thing.
26000
13800
aaaand 16,500. I’m going to stop now before I get addicted.
15,800 First Try
18,400 and climbing!
i got 8500
7700