This weekend is the 137th running of the Kentucky Derby, also known as “The Most Exciting Two Minutes in Sports,” and/or subsequently known as “The Most Complex Allegory for Prematurely-Ended Sex in American History,” or, if you prefer, a chance to see A.C. Slater and a chick in a zany hat together!

What is this, you say? Horse racing isn’t nerdy! Oh, but it ’tis. Very few things can go comically viral like a good horse racing clip.

Examples? Yes, we have those.

Start here:

Then check out this one, which will make Johnny Depp and Penelope Cruz proud in a few weeks:

And finally, a question we’re all left asking far too frequently:

Enjoy the juleps and trumpets, friends.