Setting up for Tom Lenk Live! in Portland, Oregon

You probably know Tom Lenk as Andrew from Buffy the Vampire Slayer but I probably know him from his recent visit to the city of Portland where I live and eat french fries and where he was performing his one man show Tom Lenk Live! (and also where he ate french fries).

Following an exchange of inappropriate (from me) emails, an interview (with me) for the Portland Mercury, and general bonding over our shared confusion regarding the rules of PR vs. Journalism, Tom invited me to accompany him on his special secret private tour of Buffy comics mecca Dark Horse HQ and so I did! And I took a few pictures! Maybe even some I wasn’t supposed to!

Scott Allie (Senior Editor of Dark Horse) kicked off our tour with a champagne toast aboard the S.S. I Get That, the official Dark Horse Yachtâ„¢ made out of cherub dust and the finely crushed bones of baby slayers. Oh ha! I MAKE THINGS UP SOMETIMES. That did not happen but Scott did take time out of his crazy schedule to lead Tom and his gaggle (Tom’s word!) of friends around the modest yet still exciting Dark Horse offices.

After a pretty detailed tutorial from Scott on the complexities of modern comics creation, he led us into the Joss Whedon room. For reals. I don’t remember if the room is actually called that but since it’s filled with Buffy, Dollhouse, and Firefly things one would assume. One would also assume one would write these things down but one would be overestimating one’s professionalism. Additionally, this room held an Iron Man helmet. A Captain America shield was conspicuously absent. I am just saying.

OMG there is a slayer…right…behind…you.

Next up, we saw some sort of super official meeting room with a whiteboard of secrets I was not allowed to photograph. I guess this was what you would call the War Room. Or maybe you wouldn’t but Patton certainly would- Patton Oswalt, I mean. Because he likes comics and…anyway.

In the War Room, we saw Tom leaf through a collection of Buffy Season 8 comics looking for the drawings of himself. Do not judge – you guys would do the EXACT SAME THING.

\Remember that time you wrote a comic and I was in it?

After this, I peed. I refrained from taking a picture. Barely.

Next, we tried to get into the toy shop but it was closed and we could only peer through the window which, as nerds, is a pretty accurate metaphor for our lives.

Sigh.

Swallowing our disappointment, we gaggledâ„¢ our way upstairs to the tech-y area where we learned that even super genius Dark Horse graphics people can’t always make the computers work. Seriously though, if you had Tom Lenk and a Really Important Journalist Named Kiala standing over your shoulder, you’d get all flustered too (I SMELL LIKE DIAMONDS). It was actually pretty fascinating stuff regarding colors on the computer screen versus colors in print and the different challenges involved in translating a comic from one language to another but I did not take pictures. I was afraid the flash or whatever would screw up an entire run of The Goon or something and then Scott Allie would smother me with a Star Wars: The Old Republic pillow.

After the tour ended, we all thanked Scott profusely and headed across the street for lemon sorbet and antique shopping. I am not even shitting you. BEST TOUR EVER.

Go see Tom’s Showee
He makes jokes about Blowees!

(Sorry. Tom asked me to write a poem.He’s probably sorry he did now.)

SEATTLE:
LABOR DAY WEEKEND
Sep. 3 – 5 @ The Annex Theater

Toronto
Sep. 25 @ Theatre Passe Muraille

tix here!

Images: Kiala Kazebee