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The night is dark and full of death, sex, and dragons—of course, we’re talking about Game of Thrones. The HBO series premiered its sixth season last night and let’s just say things got awfully real awfully fast. With so much of what we’re going to see this season set to blow past where George R.R. Martin left off in the books, we took it upon ourselves to come up with another way to keep track of everything going down in the Seven Kingdoms (and beyond). Welcome to All Kings Considered, our new weekly recap program, highlighting the besteros and worsteros of Westeros …all through the lens of a TV news program. Because we don’t already talk about The Realm enough!

Whether you’re a fan of the Old Gods or the New, allow our hosts Tripp Blackfyre (Dan Hodapp) and Megan Frey-Burlington (Madeline Walter) to put you in the know (nothing) regarding the craziest deaths, most insane flashbacks, the wargiest warg-offs, and whatever ends up going down with Dany and her dragons.

Be it Dorne, the Iron Islands, The Wall, King’s Landing, or anywhere in Essos, if it’s happening on Thrones, we’re discussing the lot of it — all through the lens of a fake news show (because things are better when you pretend they’re real life).

Check in with us each Monday afternoon for your dose of news-y nincompoopery. And let us know what you think of this week’s episode in the comments below!

Guest starring: Courtney Pauroso as Yennefer Tully; Steve Szlaga as Belching Bertram; and Anthony Gioe as Jackboy Oatwright

Alicia Lutes is the Managing Editor of Nerdist. Find her on Twitter (@alicialutes) and tune in when her show, Fangirling, streams live on April 29th at 5PM PST.

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