Ever wonder what happens to all the Jason Voorheeses out there as they get older? Middle age isn’t kind to anyone, especially people in such dangerous lines of work as masked serial killing.

In a new video for their song “Eyes All Over Town,” San Diego pop-punkers Mrs. Magician explore this very issue. The three-minute clip—which was directed by Nerdist’s very own Ben Mekler and premiered today by Noisey—pays homage to Friday the 13^th. (Both Mekler and Mrs. Magician frontman Jacob Turnbloom are tried-and-true horror enthusiasts; fans of Night of the Creeps and The Fog should keep their eyes peeled for a cameo from ’80s horror actor, Tom Atkins.)

In the video, a Jason-like monster arrives at the doorstep of two young lovers. He’s wearing a mask and an argyle sweater that halfway conceals a modest beer gut. The lovers run. He gives chase. And, alas, his out-of-shape bod fails him.

So what does our monster do? He hits the gym! A quirky montage follows in which the still argyle-clad killer bench-presses, runs on a treadmill, and leads a group through all of his best moves: thrusting, stabbing, and choking. Once he’s got his step back, he returns to the young lovers’ home and finishes the job. Props to both Mekler’s vision and Mrs. Magician’s catchy punk jam for making me feel some twisted satisfaction over his success.

So, the moral of this Friday the 13th is to remember that that masked behemoth that’s been coming to your gym may be up to no good. Advise him to go back home to his couch while you still can!

Mrs. Magician’s album Bermuda drops on May 20 and you can preorder it right here. Let us know what you think of the video in the comments below.

Image: Mrs. Magician, Jacob Turnbloom