Twin Peaks fans, we are now at episode nine, the official halfway point for “The Return.” And while I’m not sure anything will beat part eight in terms of the bizarre, there are still plenty of Lynchian moments in the latest chapter of the Twin Peaks saga. Let’s dive right in!

“America the Beautiful”

While the Las Vegas police trio ask Dougie’s boss all kinds of questions about the incident where Dougie was able to subdue assassin Ike the Spike like a ninja, Dougie (Kyle MacLachlan) and his wife Janey-E (Naomi Watts) sit patiently in the lobby. Dougie stares intently at an American flag in the corner, all while an overly saccharine instrumental version of “America the Beautiful” plays in his head. It’s another symbol of wholesome Americana that the real Agent Cooper is seemingly responding to, much like police badges and good ol’ American coffee. Are all these things what will finally snap our beloved Dougie out of it and bring back the real Agent Cooper?

Online Shopping with Andy and Lucy

In an absurdist comedic moment that almost certainly has nothing to do with anything of any importance, we see our favorite law enforcement couple, Twin Peaks Sheriff’s Station receptionist Lucy Brennan (Kimmy Robertson) and her husband Deputy Andy Brennan (Harry Goaz) shopping online for a new chair, presumably for the study which was the former childhood bedroom of their son Wally Brando. Lucy is insisting on the beige chair, while Andy wants the red. This turns into a battle of will for the Brennans over the most mundane thing possible. Ultimately, Lucy gets her way and Andy lets her order the beige chair… but she gets the red one to surprise her husband.

“This Is the Chair.”

Deputy Hawk (Michael Horse), Sheriff Frank Truman (Robert Forster), and Deputy Bobby Briggs (Dana Ashbrook) go to visit Mrs. Betty Briggs, (Charlotte Stewart), Bobby’s mom and wife of the late Major Briggs. Once there, she informs all three men that the late Major told her that one day, all three men would come to visit her and ask about Agent Dale Cooper.

She then points the men to an old chair in the living room and says “This is the chair.” Inside a hidden compartment in said chair, we get a thin metal cylinder, which Bobby alone is able to open thanks to a childhood memory of a similar gadget his father once gave him. What they got inside the cylinder was a note that the Major gave his wife more than 25 years ago to hold onto until this moment.

The message is a set of directions: “253 yards east of Jack Rabbit’s Palace. Before leaving Jack Rabbit’s Palace put some soil from that area into your pocket.” It turns out, Jack Rabbit’s Palace is a local area that Bobby nicknamed so as a child. It also lists two dates and a time, which are coming very soon. A second note features a series of letters and numbers with the word “Cooper” appearing twice, leaving Hawk to realize, “Two Coopers.” Of course, longtime Twin Peaks fans will remember the note with the words “COOPER/COOPER” originated from the original series episode where the Major delivered a message to Coop, seemingly from another dimension.

“I Am Not Your Foot.”

When last we saw Jerry Horne (David Patrick Kelly) he was high as kite in the woods surrounding Twin Peaks. Well, it seems his circumstances haven’t changed much, as Jerry seems even more effed up than before. I’m not sure what drugs Jerry is on, but at one point he looks done at his immobile foot, which actually speaks to him in a high pitched voice, saying, “I am not your foot.” It’s safe to say that Jerry needs help with his drug problem.

Johnny Horne Runs into a Wall

Remember Benjamin Horne’s adult son Johnny from the original series? Who, as his sister Audrey described him “was 27 years old but in the third grade?” The emotionally unstable Horne, who insisted on wearing Native American headdresses at all time, doesn’t seem to have gotten much better with age. In his home, he somehow escapes his room and his mother Sylvia Horne (Jan D’Arcy), and literally runs around the house and right into a wall. He leaves a pretty bloody mark, but is he dead? And why was Johnny running like that? It should be noted that Johnny was recast, and is no longer played by Robert Bauer, but instead is credited to an actor named Eric Rondell, our only recast in the series so far (unless you count the CGI tree taking over for Michael J. Anderson).

“The Zone”

Remember Bill Hastings, the Buckhorn, South Dakota, high school principal arrested for murder way back in the series premiere episode, played by Matthew Lillard? In episode nine, we get something of an explanation for why the headless body of Major Garland Briggs wound up with the head of a murdered woman named Ruth Davenport.

According to his interrogation by Agent Tammy Preston (Chrysta Bell), Hastings says that he and Ruth, with whom he was having an affair, were equally obsessed with the idea of extra-dimensional travel to a place they called “The Zone,” but which sounds an awful lot like the Red Room/Black Lodge. Hasting even had a blog all about it, which he started way back in 1997 and apparently never updated to modern standards (you can check out the site here). The pair were finally able to enter this “zone” one day, thanks to some numbers (coordinates) Ruth gave them.

Once there, according to a sobbing, crazy-sounding Bill Hastings, they seemingly met Major Garland Briggs, whose own head apparently came right off and then floated into the sky. Ruth was killed (by a possessed Hastings? Or someone else?) hence the grisly crime scene the Buckhorn police found in Ruth’s apartment.

Diane and Cole Share a Smoke

Also in the Buckhorn, South Dakota police station, Diane Evans (Laura Dern) is standing outside having a smoke. This after having been scolded by the local Police Chief for smoking inside. (“It’s a fucking morgue!” Diane reminded them, in her usual manner). She’s eventually joined outside by Agents Gordon Cole and Tamara Preston.

After sharing a long, awkward Lynchian silence together, Diane finally offers Cole, who quit smoking long ago, a drag of her cigarette. Cole hasn’t smoked in years, and Diane knows she’s dragging him back to the dark side by doing this. Gordon, meanwhile, acts like he’s rediscovered the Holy Grail in nicotine.

Did you have a favorite moment in this episode of Twin Peaks? Are you glad things got a bit more normal from the last episode, or did you want more pure Lynchian weirdness? Let us know your thoughts down below in the comments.

Images: Showtime